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Have you found yourself wondering: Why do I keep doing the same things wrong? Why am I trapped in this cycle of negative behavior? Why don’t I have lasting relationships? How can I stop being a toxic person?
The truth is, you may have some unhealthy behaviors that are driving others away. Toxic traits are hard for our loved ones to handle, so many people prefer to remain silent or slowly fade out of our lives to avoid making a scene. But, you can correct these patterns in your life when you become aware of what’s going wrong. Try this Am I Toxic QUIZ? and it will get you started on the right path.
Am I Toxic Quiz
If you want to test whether you are the one with the toxic traits, take the: AM I TOXIC? Quiz NOW! This quiz will help you find out if you are a toxic partner, toxic friend, toxic parent, and/or toxic co-worker.
What is a toxic person?
A toxic person has many bad behaviors and traits that rub others the wrong way. The toxic traits are usually developed to help protect their fragile self-esteem. A person struggling with toxic emotions and traits is usually insecure, fearful of rejection & abandonment, prideful, jealous, lonely, and drenched in unworthiness.
To deal with these negative emotions they lash out on their partners and friends. Some of the behaviors and toxic traits used to cope are manipulation, lying, gas-lighting, control, backhanded compliments, blame-shifting, victimhood, and suspicion.
What is my toxic trait?
Toxic traits that you may struggle with are codependence, jealousy, pride, blame shifting, gaslighting, people pleasing, enabling, lying, suppressing or escaping emotional pain, extreme highs and lows, manipulative, unforgiving, selfish, ungrateful, fearful, controlling, negativity, judgmental, and a victim mentality.
Do toxic people know they are toxic?
Sometimes, people do not know they have toxic traits. It really depends on the level of pain and awareness that the person has. Unfortunately, most individuals with toxic traits have learned to blame everything on others (blame shift). If they did act poorly, they believe they were defending themselves against a predator. Everything is twisted to make themselves look like the victim. Usually, they were the victim of something traumatic during their life and they never let go of the pain AND/OR the need to defend themselves.
Therefore, they tend to believe others are the aggressors in every conflict. It is very hard to get the person to actually see that they are a major contributor to poor communication and failed relationships. When the person with toxic traits eventually loses many friends and partners, they usually seek therapy or guidance to help them understand what is happening. Then, they can start the work to understand how they are causing severe brokenness in their lives.
Am I A Bad Person?
I want to help you figure out what’s going on inside of you! Stop wondering, “Am I the problem?” And, let me help you! First of all, you are NOT a bad person! You are a good person with many wounds. Most people are not trying to be toxic on purpose. Many people like YOU are just wounded people with toxic TRAITS and behaviors.
From an early age, no one taught you how to properly protect yourself from the darkness in the world. Have you been wounded by others? Or, afraid of being wounded and hurt? The pain taught you how to defend yourself in an unhealthy way because that’s all you knew how to do.
I’m sorry that situations and people cause you to feel shame, abandoned, insecure, confused, attacked, fear, inadequate, and anxiety. Without the proper skills to cope those emotions are stressful for the body. Toxic traits are unhealthy coping mechanisms centered on protecting yourself from those scary feelings.
Related Article: 10 Emotional Needs That Destroy Relationships!
It is time you learned the healthy way to cope with your emotions and start healing now. Do you need emotional support? You can connect with me for your First 20 Minutes Free: of 1:1 empowerment Coaching! Or, you can visit the collection of articles and quizzes below that will help you heal. You will move from Am I Toxic? to healthy and healed.
13 signs you’ve become a toxic
Does your best friend, friend group, family members, and significant other all have the same issues with you? If they do and you are repeating cycles, see yourself in the similar situations often, then you may need to seek help.
- You have no close friend or romantic relationships that have lasted a long time.
- You can’t apologize.
- You’re afraid of what people think or feel concerning you.
- You do things to keep the peace.
- You’re unhappy.
- You know you’re doing something wrong but can’t stop.
- You don’t accept “no” as an answer and push people to give you what you want despite them setting boundaries with you.
- You are a master manipulator and may use emotional blackmail.
- Different people have the same complaint about you.
- You twist the truth and stories so you can be the victim.
- You don’t trust anyone.
- You are afraid of relationships and friendships.
- It feels like everyone is attacking you!
- Your jokes are insensitive or hurtful :'(.
- Take the AM I TOXIC?! QUIZ to see if you have any of the other 30 traits of toxic behaviors!
Ultimately, there are different types of toxic traits and signs of toxicity: manipulative, controlling, codependent, fear-based, people-pleasing, enablers, passive, aggressive, liars, blame-shifters, avoiders, addicts, etc. Every person on this planet has pain but not everyone deals with the pain well. People that don’t deal well with pain develop toxic behaviors and traits.
Ultimately, there are different types of toxic traits: manipulative, controlling, codependent, fear-based, people-pleasing, enablers, passive, aggressive, liars, blame-shifters, emotional black mail, avoiders, addicts, etc. Every person on this planet has pain but not everyone deals with the pain well. People that don’t deal well with pain develop toxic behaviors and traits.
Am I the Toxic One In the Relationship?
Toxic relationships are caused by two people with dysfunctional ways of handling pain and situations. One person may have more noticeable toxic traits. However, people with toxic traits attract others with toxic traits. For instance, a man that loves to blame-shift and control will usually date a woman that is passive, takes guilt for things she doesn’t do, gives beyond her limit, loves everyone but herself, and is afraid of rocking the boat.
The woman has what I call the “pretty dysfunction.” It’s pretty because society makes it seem like good people or nice people are quiet, passive, and afraid to speak their mind because they’ll hurt the feelings of others. While some view people that try to express themselves as the inappropriate ones. Actually, being passive and always keeping peace is dysfunctional.
Sometimes you have to use your voice and it will cause all the ugliness to come to the surface — and that’s healthy if handled appropriately. In reality, people with pretty dysfunctions are trying to do the same thing as the person with “noticeable dysfunctions.” Both people are trying to survive in a harsh world.
They both just learned to do it in different ways to stay safe. People with dysfunctions pass their toxic traits to their children. The children end up being the “pretty dysfunctional person” or the “noticeable dysfunctional person.” Pretty dysfunctional people will always attract noticeable dysfunctional people unless the toxic habits are broken. ALL toxic traits furthers the cycle of toxic relationships. Either way, both behaviors are toxic– read more on this by reading “Why narcissist attract empaths?“
Take the Am I the Toxic Person?!, the blame shifting and gaslighting QUIZ, OR the Toxic Relationship Quiz to test if your relationship has red flags and signs that indicate strong dysfunctional traits.
Am I A Toxic Friend?
Are you wondering — Am I A Toxic or Good Friend? Am I in a Toxic Friendship? The number one sign that you are a toxic friend or in a toxic relationship is realizing something is wrong. We attract the level of healing we have. Therefore, if you are scared to speak your mind, codependent, and easily confused… It’s likely that you will make a toxic pairing with friends that have control issues, demand much a lot of time, manipulate, always make you the problem, and refuse to grow or change.
Difficult people are emotionally injured and need to create a game plan to heal. It’s always a good idea to seek mentorship even if you don’t think you’re toxic friend. The truth is a rough patches in friendship that isn’t really abnormal and is a part of growth. However, constant fighting, confusion, lack of talking about any issues, physical abuse, and lack of growth are clear signs there are severe bad habits present.
When you heal, you will attract healed friends.. Or, you’ll help others heal. But ultimately, we must all seek to guard our emotional energy and show up to the world full NOT empty.
Do I have a mental illness?
Wondering, “Am I mentally ill?” The truth is everyone will struggle with toxic emotions at some point in their life. However, someone with a mental health or personality disorder struggles so severely with emotional issues that it impairs their ability to keep relationships, jobs, and other life aspects in check. In addition, the individual’s mood is characterized by extreme highs and lows.
You can take this mental health screening test to further pinpoint the issue. Please don’t be ashamed if you need medication or professional help to find out if you have an emotional health disorder. If you are having trouble and you can’t control yourself — Get professional help. If you are repeating the same patterns and can’t break them — Get help. You may need more help than someone else, but the answer is still the same — Get help.
Getting help from a professional licensed psychologist or psychiatrist will allow you access to mood stabilizers and therapy that will be tailor made to your unique emotional, genetic, hormonal, etc. experience.
Related Article: Guided Meditation to Release Painful Emotions!
Am I A Toxic Parent?
According to CriticalMama, a toxic parent excessively shares adult information to children, demeans their existence, doesn’t plan with children in mind, doesn’t do much with children nor for themselves, neglects the child’s emotional and physical needs, frequently yells, is excited to get rid of the children, is impatient when helping their child, and they are overall emotionally and/or physical abusive. You can also take this quiz to determine if your mother or father has toxic traits.
Related Article: How to Stop Being A Toxic Parent
How to Stop Being Toxic
- Introspection: you must look within to be able to identify emotions and feelings that are causing you to react negatively.
- Awareness: once you look within, you must gain the ability to see toxic traits that you’re using.
- Personal Responsibility: the ability to admit and apologize when you react negatively is important.
- Change: you must see the behavior, admit to the behavior, take responsibility, and then replace old habits with new ones.
- Love Yourself: this is a hard process of unlearning patterns that have kept you safe for a long time. Be gentle with yourself as you heal and evolve.
Why am I toxic and how to change?
The reasons you struggle with toxic emotions is unique to the things you have went through and how you handle pain. The first step is finding out what caused the damage, the second step is to learn how to deal with the pain properly, the third step is healing what caused the damage, and the fourth step is embracing a healthy lifestyle.
How to stop being toxic in a relationship?
You just need to begin your journey to self-awareness and healing to stop being toxic in a relationship. It is possible
to enter into healthy relationships were you are happy and enjoy the benefits of love. However, you have to be committed to your growth process.
Identifying the toxic traits within yourself is important to heal. We often use toxic traits to make ourselves feel better, to defend ourselves from others, and to deal with the pain in the world. Therefore, learning what your coping style is and replacing it with a healthy coping mechanism will help you to heal.
Here are 12 articles that can help you navigate this process. There are also 8+ quizzes to help you see who you are and what you show up to the world looking like. But, remember you don’t have to do it alone. I can help you identify the root of your trauma in a free 20 minute session so you know how to start your healing process to become a better person.
- Quiz: Do you have toxic tendencies?
- QUIZ: Am I codependent?
- QUIZ: Am I prideful?
- QUIZ: What is your coping style?
- QUIZ: Do you play the blame game and gaslight?
TAKE 8+ More Quizzes!!
- How To Heal From Childhood Sexual Abuse!
- Do you have toxic and abusive tendencies? 5 Tips to Help you Heal!
- The Heart Detox: 14 Day Emotional Cleanse!
- 10 Emotional Triggers + Needs That Destroy Relationships!
- 5 Reasons You Can’t Be a Good Person Without Jesus!
- How do people become toxic? This article on Breaking Generational Patterns: 3 Strategies To Break The Toxic Cycles will explain and give you tips to exit the cycle.
- 6 Toxic Coping Mechanism: Why people don’t change?
Am I In A Toxic Relationships?
If you’re in a toxic relationship there are steps you can take to figure out if your relationship is savable or not. If you and your partner want to heal and grow then it is possible! However, it starts with learning what toxic traits you both can grow in!
- What is a toxic relationship? What causes toxic relationships?
- How to Avoid Toxic Relationships When You’re Drunk in Love
- How To Find The Source Of Happiness & Love
- People pleasers & Enablers Attract The Narcissist: 3 Keys To End The Cycle!
- 4 Reasons You Are Dating The Wrong Men!
- How Shame Destroys Relationships: 6 Steps to Heal The Cycle of Shame!
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