Most people in emotional abusive relationships are not aware because the signs can be so subtle. Or, people with emotional abusive tendencies often don’t realize they’e causing their own problems because their behaviors are so subtle. The truth is, everything we say, do, think, and act on has an affect on ourselves and the people around us.
This toxic relationship quiz will help you identify if your partner has any of the 31 signs of an emotional abuser:
Emotional Abuse Tactics
An emotional abuser can be your parent, friend, co-worker, boss, boyfriend, girlfriend, teacher, etc. Any interaction with another human being can become toxic if they use the following tactics:
- Lies, gaslighting & denial: making you feel that your experiences are incorrect and you’re crazy.
- Withdrawal: punishing you for not giving them what they need by withdrawing love.
- Manipulation & control: they’ll do and say anything to get their way with you.
- Criticizing: making you feel like everything you do isn’t good enough.
- Blame shifting & victim mentality: blaming you for everything and making you feel at fault.
What causes someone to be emotionally abusive?
- Unmet Needs: everyone desires to feel loved, safe, respected, and valued. An emotionally abusive person forces others to meet their needs. For instance, my ex wanted to feel loved, so he would make me cry to see how much I cared about him. His actions were geared at pleasing himself and my emotions only mattered after his cup was full.
- Reactive Emotions: some people have impulse control and emotional regulation issues. Sometimes medication or a psychological diagnosis is needed to help the person have better control over their behavior/mood when they experience pain and stress.
- Unhealthy Coping: some people grew up in homes where abuse was normal, so they don’t know what is healthy behavior or how to start practicing healthy behavior. Or they might not realize how much pain they’re in and that their behavior is severely unhealthy. For instance, an emotionally unaware person may sleep with multiple persons OR gamble to avoid grieving over their parents splitting up. They might be frustrated with themselves for cheating on their partner because they can’t help themselves. This type of cheating is like a pain killer to reduce their emotional pains.
- Trauma: the bad things that happen in our lives shape the way we deal with other events. For instance, someone that feels taken advantage of and misused, may eventually start using other people. Why? Because when others hurt you enough… sometimes you become cold or an unhealthy version of yourself for self-protection.
- Shame and guilt: people that struggle with toxic shame tend to use abuse tactics to ensure that they feel better. The negative feelings that come with shame and guilt are unbearable for someone that struggles with abusive behavior.Their goal is to give YOU their shame through gas-lighting, blame shifting, lying, etc.
- Victim mentality: the person might literally believe that they are the victim and you are abusing them. In this case, their mind distorts every experience and make YOU the bad guy.
- Fear of Abandonment and Rejection: someone that fear losing someone they love will react negatively to anything they perceive as rejection. This type of individual will engage in abuse tactics to ensure that you stay with them forever.
- Low Self-esteem: someone that feel small, less than you, and that they don’t deserve you will hurt you with emotional abuse tactics. This type of individual wants to feel like they’re better than you… So, they will do what is necessary to destroy your self esteem.
- Fixed mindset: some people don’t have hope that they can change and grow into a better person. The end up believing that a relationship will end a certain way and self sabotage by not striving for better.
Am I Emotionally Abusive?
Wondering if you are the one causing problems in your relationship? That’s a valid and great question. These quizzes were designed to help you identify if you struggle with toxic traits that are ruining your relationships.
- QUIZ: Do I have toxic traits?
- QUIZ: Am I codependent?
- QUIZ: Are you stuck in a victim mentality?
- QUIZ: Am I prideful?
- QUIZ: What is your coping style?
- QUIZ: Do you play the blame game and gaslight?
- QUIZ: Are you a people-pleaser?
10 Resources to End Emotionally Abusive Relationships
Here are further articles to help you identify if you are in an emotionally abusive relationship. The articles are loaded with tips that can help you heal or move towards having healthier relationships.
- 5 Tips To Let Go of Toxic Relationships!
- 7 Reasons Why Advice Isn’t Working For You !
- TOXIC Shame: How Regret & Guilt Destroys Relationships!
- 6 Toxic Traits in a Relationship!
- How to Avoid Toxic Relationships When You’re Drunk in Love
- In Love With A Prideful Man? 6 Helpful Tips!
- How To Find The Source Of Happiness & Love
- People pleasers & Enablers Attract The Narcissist: 3 Keys To End The Cycle!
- 4 Reasons You Are Dating The Wrong Men!
- 13 Consequences of Lying in Relationships