When involved with a prideful man, traditional love tips and advice may help you achieve your desired results. This happens because common suggestions often fail to address the underlying causes of pride and their potential solution. In addition to pride, there are six other root issues that cause relationships to become problematic.
Essentially, a man is suppose to be proud, but not prideful. What’s the difference between pride vs proud? A proud man is confident and happy about himself because he has worked hard to accomplish emotional healing and success. He knows how hard it is to be emotionally, spiritually, physically, and financially successful and he isn’t afraid to let people know about the failures and struggles that are/were on his path to greatness.
Are you a man exploring this article? Click here for tips to deal with a prideful wife.
What causes a prideful man?
On the contrary, an excessively prideful man is insecure and unhappy with himself. This kind of man perceives that he’s falling short in one or more areas of his life, thus not achieving his desired goals. As a result, he feels that he falls short of everyone’s expectations and is, as a result, easily hurt. Overall, his fragile ego is always guarding him against potential judgments and attacks, making it hard for him to let others see his struggles due to his fear, distrust, low self-esteem, and emotional fragility.
He might not share much about his day because he can’t bear to think about the embarrassing moments and challenges he faced. Alternatively, he might fear your judgment. But fundamentally, he cares deeply about what you and others think of him. This concern is so strong that he adopts a self-protective mindset, doing everything in his power to shield himself from hurtful words, judgments, and criticisms from the world.
Read more: 7 Causes of Pride: How to be More Humble!
38 Signs He has too much Pride
The 38 characteristics and signs of pride in your husband, boyfriend, or within your relationship are as follows:
- Struggles with offering apologies
- Displays power-hungry and controlling behavior
- Avoids vulnerability, and sharing fears + failures
- He may lie, manipulate, and control your perspective
- Demonstrates a lack of trust and/or suspicion
- Struggles with low self-esteem
- Frequently adopts a defensive stance
- Identifies as a victim in various situations
- Might exhibit perfectionistic and competitive tendencies
- Craves recognition as the best
- Tends to shift blame onto others
- Engages in criticism and judgment of others.
- He may be condescending and reject other opinions
Read this article for more Signs Of Pride In A Person !
What is too much pride in a relationship?
Everyone has a bit of pride. However, when you are in a relationship with someone that has too much pride it destroys the relationship. Men with broken pride and ego need therapy and need to begin healing to become more humble. Specifically, he needs to rebuild his self-esteem and learn to trust other people. Because he is always guarded, it is easy for this type of man to take your innocent behavior as an attack or react negatively to immature areas you have to grow in. Or, he may try to control you with toxic strategies so that he can feel safe around you.
5 Tips to Deal with Pride in a Relationship:
If you find that your husband or boyfriend is not humble there is help for you and him. But, He has to want help and growth too. Use these 5 tips to start the process of overcoming pride in your relationship:
#1 Earn His Trust
If you are constantly honest, kind, and humble it will help. He may not always be able to see what he is doing wrong, but he could grow to trust your opinions because your intentions are always pure.
In any disagreement, your goal is for him to understand how you feel. You shouldn’t be focused on getting him to agree with you. Building trust means acknowledging his viewpoints and not trying to change his mind. Trying to understand him and letting him know you’re on his team will communicate that you’re with him and not against him.
Prideful men usually struggle with with self-worth, so fighting to have your opinions heard without truly understanding his side communicates His truth isn’t important to you. However, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t share how you feel when you’ve finished listening to his full truth. I wouldn’t suggest sharing how you feel on the same day. Perhaps, let him know you’d like to think through things and schedule another day to share your mind. Too much emotions and perspectives in one sitting can turn negative quick!
When it’s time, you can share your perspective, but remember it’s YOUR perspective and he doesn’t have to agree. Remember, the goal isn’t to make him feel bad or change his mind. The goal is for him to understand how his actions affect you — not for you to be right. Getting caught up in a battle of right or wrong is prideful. You can both be right based on how you view the world. This is where you will have to be humble and DROP the need to be right (pride) and aim to be understood.
#2 Learn His Communication Style
In a relationship, partners should learn to speak each other’s language. The truth is, prideful men communicate… They just don’t communicate the way woman want them to most of the time.
A guy I dated would do a lot of heavy breathing when he was in a bad mood. I would rub his arm and ask him what’s bothering him… If he said he didn’t want to talk about it, I’d reply I’m so sorry you had a bad day and just kept rubbing his arm. Sometimes he’d just start talking. Or, he would give me random pieces of the problem throughout the day. I never nagged him for more information and I let him speak as he felt led.
Based on how you are and how your relationship is, you can use his body language to your advantage. If you feel something is not right, maybe you could cook his favorite meal or ask if he’d like to watch the game while you take the kids to a movie. You can also just ask him directly: “I’ve noticed we’re not communicating well. What can I do to understand and make you happy?”
If you’re doing things to get what you want, he will sense that. Be sure your motives are pure. Everything you do must be from pure selflessness and unconditional love.
I know it isn’t always that easy depending on his level of irritableness and pride. However, give 120% to romancing your man and learning to speak his language. Compliment him and acknowledge when he is doing things right. Try to have more positive moments of praise rather than criticism!
#3 Hold Him Accountable
You are allowed to tell your man kindly when he won’t lower his pride. When you’re not in the heat of a disagreement, you can even suggest he get therapy or both of you can do counseling together. (Warning: He may ignore your suggestion, get defensive, or to the extreme He’ll lash out in anger.) However, there is a difference between letting him know and nagging. Once you let him know, trust that God will send outside reminders and encouragements to grow.
Sometimes, we just need to plant the seed. But it’s not your job to make him want to grow. Life has a way of bringing people through the same painful lessons until they’re ready to learn.
If you need to have future conversations, pick the main issue that is frustrating you… Try not to nit pick at everything he is doing wrong. I understand that this is hard to deal with, but this isn’t a cake walk for him either. Nagging tells him you think he is not good enough which pushes him to withdraw into pride even further.
If he won’t get therapy, I suggest you seek THERAPY or try the first 20 minutes of empowerment coaching with me for FREE. Your goal is learning how to communicate in an effective way, so that you don’t push him away. Communicating that you want to fix rather than complain is very important. As your coach, I can help you navigate that along with other emotional pain this relationship is causing you.
Related Article: Empaths Attract Narcissists in Relationship: 3 Keys To End Cycle!
#4 Trust Your Reality
Depending on how much pride your man carries, he might twist reality. When facing truths that are painful for him, he could change the facts. Then, to feel safe he may convince you that his realty is true, which you will perceive as a lie or a distortion of facts. Essentially, he may use manipulation, control, dominance, lying, blame-shifting, a victim mentality, gas-lighting, abuse, and other toxic strategies to help him cope with the pain.
Your goal is to believe what you see. For instance, If he got jealous because someone else looked at you… That’s his ego that took a hit. Don’t question if you made him jealous and if you were too friendly. Remember, he may feel unworthy & insecure, so he needs to blame others for his issues so he doesn’t feel like a ‘bad guy’. Chances are, you didn’t do anything wrong. Therapy plays a crucial role here, as it’s vital to be confident in your genuine perception. If you give into his false reality (can be unintentional lies) this will empower him to stop growing emotionally and continue mistreating you.
In the beginning, he may do small things to test your ability to stand your ground. If you stood your ground, he might have walked away, mistreated you, or manipulated you into backing down. This pattern primes you to accept mistreatment. Once again, speak to your therapist to see if this situation has escalated in a way where you need to leave (physical & emotional abuse are never okay)!
Related Article: Toxic Relationship Quiz: Test If It’s Emotionally Abusive!
#5 Be Completely Humble
How do you fight pride? You fight pride with a huge amount of humility. Be prepared, because the prideful man will bring every prideful characteristic out of you. And trust me, you will have to overcome the same pride when He provokes you.
He may cause you to feel what he is feeling inside. It’s hard to overcome isn’t it? For instance, he may not talk to you for days because he is angry. Will you ignore him to prove your point? Or, he may blame the problem on you because he can’t accept guilt. Will you point out everything he did, so you can feel right?
If you are planning to stay with him — Your job is to respond with truth and love. It’s okay to feel pain and anger, but you’re not allowed to react out of anger. You are not allowed to do anything revengeful. While in heightened emotions, you aren’t allowed to keep bringing up what he did wrong with the intention of making him feel bad or forcing him to understand you. You’ll most likely make it worse. Remember, discussions shouldn’t have a focus on who is right or wrong. It’s about reaching a solution.
Overall, the prideful man is less likely to be humble with you if you respond to his pride with pride. Get therapy if you need it — To heal and decide if this is the relationship for you. And, make sure that you are practicing self-love, so your love tank doesn’t go empty. You’ll need all your strength to keep loving him.
Also, pride to the extreme can lead to emotional and physical abuse. Humility doesn’t mean you are a doormat. I don’t recommend staying in a relationship where you’re being emotionally & physically harmed, and the person refuses to grow. Here are 64 signs you are being abused. Essentially, your safety and well-being should always be a priority.
Related Article: 10 Keys to Communicate without Arguing in Romantic Relationships
#6 Pray for Him
Pride is caused by trauma. On top of needing healing, He needs God to give him the strength to be more humble. God’s power is needed to remove His distrust, heal his low self-esteem, and renew his identity. In fact, only the power of Jesus Christ can break the cycle of pride. The prideful man needs God to heal his broken self-confidence and give him the strength to love himself. So don’t stop praying for him.
Related Article: Is Your Man’s Shame & Guilt Destroying Your Relationship?
Are you a prideful wife?
Be very careful not to pin all the blame on your significant other. If you can’t see anything you’re doing wrong or any areas for improvement, you may have a blind spot when it comes to your behaviors. Even thinking that you are more emotionally composed than someone else can indicate the presence of pride in your heart.
Thinking that they should do things your way and you have all the answers can become control, pride, and manipulation. Sometimes, your husband maybe frustrated with your flaws which trigger his flaws. It can be VERY complicated to really figure out the cause of the pride issues in your relationship. I highly suggest you get an expert involved and use these 38 signs to help you identify if you are struggling with pride as well! And don’t forget to try the first 20 minutes of empowerment coaching with me for FREE.
How to Deal with High Pride Husband
Your husband’s high pride is caused by his insecurity, unworthiness, and fear. He’s insecure, so He needs to show off, put on a fake personality, be defensive, and refuse to admit he did anything wrong. He has not learned that it’s okay to be himself and that the world doesn’t need him to be perfect. Or, that everyone isn’t out to hurt him and make him look “inadequate”.
As the partner of a prideful person, it is your job to hold him accountable to growing. However, you should also be the type of woman that helps him to know it’s safe to be himself. When you win the trust of a man, He may give you his entire heart. But remember, He has to WANT to change and give you 100% effort (free-will)… you can love and pray for him better than anyone else and he may still decide NOT to trust you or lower his guard for you.
Don’t let your pride trick you into believing you can fix him.
Remember, I can help you pray and navigate this process. Try the first 20 minutes of empowerment coaching with me for FREE… Let’s seek God together to ensure you are on a healthy path.