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After my own failed relationships, I started to read so much online about the predatory men that go around dating and hurting women. My heart breaks for women and men that has gone through the heartbreak I have. My aches because I played apart inviting pain with my pattern of dysfunctional intimacy with men. But, I have to say…
You and I are not victims. Yes, they hurt us. But, we are stronger than the bad relationships we have been in. We just didn’t know how to break our patterns and as we do learn to do that NO ONE will be able to break us again.We will be conquerors! We will fight any demon that tries to bring us back into the same emotional hole!
The first step to healing from cycles of bad relationships is to realize that you have a pattern of bad relationships! There is no shame.
The second step is to realize that there is something about you that makes you continue to stay in relationship with unhealthy men. This may hurt but it’s important to know… You contributed to the problem as well.
The third step is to create action steps to grow. The weak areas in your heart and life need to be fixed so they are a repellent for emotionally unhealthy people.
The three steps to toxic relationship healing is awareness of your pattern, to realize what your area of weakness is, and last steps is to create a plan to fix the issue. These steps are important and cannot be skipped in your journey to healing and becoming ready for a healthy relationship.
Related Article: 4 Reasons You Are Dating The Wrong Men
I will share a few reasons why you may be attracting emotional unhealthy people in your life. However, your reasoning may be entirely different or a combination of multiple of the issues. My suggestion is to seek professional counseling to end the cycles of bad relationships plaguing your love life!
“There are 6 areas you can grow in to heal from toxic relationships. These, 6 areas can also help you avoid dating Narcissists, Abusers, & Emotional Unstable Men.”
Tips to End the Relationship:
- Heal: The healthier you become the more you’ll be able to see what is really going on. It will always help you to set boundaries and leave if no changes are being made.
- Create Boundaries: Distance yourself emotional or physically. Here are 5 Ways Toxic People Violate your Boundaries. And, then you can set 10 Boundaries to ensure they don’t hurt your emotions or physical body.
- Completely Cut Communication: If the problem is so severe you may need to completely cut off communication. Perhaps moving, changing your number, and removing yourself from their grasp. Speak with a mental health provider to help you navigate their situation. However, here are 10 Grace Mistakes to Avoid When Going No Contact.
How to Heal from a Toxic Relationship:
Ultimately, the fastest way to heal from a toxic relationship is to begin your enlightenment process. The relationship might have ripped you apart, but if you can find your strength again you can be a POWERFUL women after the pain. Experiencing pain and then learning how to bounce back after it, will make you strong and unbreakable.
Before the pain, you were probably insecure, scared, and unsure of where you fit into this world. After the toxic heartbreak, you were probably angry and felt like lashing out at world. You experienced a pain so deep it nearly made you into the person you were upset with. But, you can conquer that pain and help others to heal in the world.
You can go on your healing journey, and attract someone that has been on the same healing journey as well. You can pass on healing to your children. You can support your friends as they heal. You can focus on your goals instead of heartache now. Now, you are strong and the possibilities are limitless.
Related Article: Find Your Inner Power After A Toxic Relationship!
1. Low Self-Esteem: when we are not in love with ourselves we go around trying to find someone that will love us. We try to find people to compliment us and tell us nice things. But, we won’t need that if we are confident in ourself. Take the Self-Esteem Quiz: Do You Love Yourself? And, get results and tips to help you improve your ability to practice self-love.
2. Lack of Boundaries: if you give people your time, body, energy, and money and you never say no… Or, if you demand others time, body, energy, and money and feel upset when they say no… You probably have no boundaries. Boundaries are extremely important in EVERY relationship because we are entitled to our own thoughts, feelings, and decisions. Read more about setting and keeping healthy boundaries here: Ultimate Guide To Set Christian Dating Boundaries!
3. Co-Dependence: in codependent relationships we learn to make our selves feel better by being with another human. Or, we learn to make the other person better with our love. However, we can never make people feel complete nor can they make us feel complete. Any pain or brokenness that isn’t address in a relationship will eventually come back up and cause trauma. Take the QUIZ: Are you codependent? Determine if you are and get results to heal.
4. Unhealthy Coping Patterns: when we don’t learn how to deal with pain well we end up learning toxic patterns to heal. Are you actively working out healthy strategies? Or, are you avoiding the pain and ignoring the issues? Take the QUIZ: What is your coping style? The quiz will reveal how you deal with pain.
5. You may also lack boundaries, awareness, emotional maturity, and the ability to vocalize your needs. In the article, 4 Reasons You Are Dating The Wrong Men, I explain these issues further.
Ultimately, we need to heal to avoid toxic relationships. You may be asking “Why do we stay in toxic relationships?” The truth is, we can only pick healthy partners when we are healed. When we are broken, we might sabotage a healthy relationship. Or, if we struggle with insecurity, codependence, and bad coping skills we will date people that make us feel good beautiful, loved, and supported.
Finding Peace After A Toxic Relationship
Finding peace after a toxic relationship is hard work. You have to learn new strategies to live and stick to it. You won’t be able to just give into pain and allow your life to be directed by your feelings.
The first step is cleaning out your emotional closet and releasing the emotions when they broke your heart. Most likely, you will have a lot of forgiveness to do. Then, you’ll need to open up for love and you can do that by finding The Source Of Happiness & Love!
Am I In A Toxic Relationship?
Toxic relationships often leave you confused, frustrated, hopeless, and insecure. When walking away from a toxic relationship, you should inquire to see if you are in such a relationship and speak with someone to make your next action steps immediately.
Also, you should check to see which of your behaviors contributed to the unhealthy relationship. Do you wonder: Am I The Toxic one in the relationship? Or, why am I dating toxic men continuously? Well, here are more resources to help you navigate this process:
Can toxic relationships be healed?
Yes, it is possible for toxic relationships to be healed. However, both people must decide to go through the healing process. And, once they make that decision they must stick to the HARD work of healing and becoming a better person. One person cannot be doing all the work (which is what usually happens).
Healing a toxic relationship is similar to cleaning a dirty cluttered house. You have to open boxes and find items under the bed. You must sort, you must throw away, you must clean, and you must find a place for the things that matter. That’s what happens when fixing a toxic relationship, you both go on a journey of decluttering and cleaning. The mess will reveal items parents left, past friends, past relationships, mean comments from teacher, etc. It will be years to unpack — Grab a counselor or relationship mentor to help you two through the process because it will be hardwork.