Table of Contents
Many Christians remain stuck in the same situation and cycle of pain for very long periods of times. That’s sad. Because Christ came to set us free. It is NOT God’s will for you to be dealing with rejection, hopelessness, fear, abandonment, distrust, jealousy, anger, comparison, relationship issues, family drama, etc. God doesn’t want you stuck and in pain, He actually wants to work through YOU to help bring healing to others as well.
Unhealed emotional pain is one of the biggest gateways for Satan to torment humans.
The truth is, God wants to end the cycle of pain in the world. But, when we are so focused on our own issues we cannot hear God clearly nor fully partner with him to bring his Kingdom to Earth. To HEAR God clearly and LOVE people properly we must remove the pain inside of our hearts. Unhealed emotional pain is an open door for Satan to use you to hurt yourself and others.
Internally there is a war: spirit vs flesh. The part of ourselves that wants to protect, fight, and remain in our pain is the carnal self. But, that self needs to be removed, so we can become a giant in the spirit! The Bible commands us to live by the spirit and not our flesh. The flesh wants to protect and provide for itself (selfish). While the spirit wants to praise/honor God and love people (selfless). Dying to the carnal self should be a priority for Christians.
"But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions," -- Galatians 5:16-25
4 Steps to Start Dying To Self:
#1 Understand The War of Spirit vs Flesh!
The flesh is selfish, fearful, insecure, and easily tempted by sinful desires. The flesh wants to protect and provide only for it self and thinks of no one else. While the spirit of God that lives within us is selfless, brave, and righteous. The spirit causes us to promote the Kingdom of God and think about how our actions affect everyone.
5 LUSTS OF THE FLESH
1. Lies – We tell lies to protect ourselves. Perhaps, we are afraid to be judged, controlled, or overworked.
2. Rebellion, Manipulation, Fear, & Control – We want to control an outcome because we are afraid and don’t trust God.
3. Coveting, Lust, & Adultery – We desire sinful things when we are tempted by fleshly desires to make ourselves feel good or better. Our corrupt nature looks to sex or other temporary sinful passions to fulfill us, instead of God.
4. Blame-Shifting, Projection – When we can’t deal with the shame or guilt of a situation we protect ourselves by blaming it on others.
5. Pride, Victim-Mentality, Some psychological suffering, & Greed – This is caused when we don’t trust God! We think we can do it in our strength, so we work in fear, pride, and dysfunction to protect and provide for ourselves.
6 FRUITS OF THE SPIRIT
1. Submission to God. You are able to wait on God and overcome sin and temptations.
2. A stronger desire for God’s will rather than the things we want.
3. Godly Characteristics: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.” – Galatians 5:22-23
4. We can be patient with people and their imperfections because we know God is in control.
5. You are able to pick love even when someone hurts you. “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; love is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; love does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-6
6. Humility “compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience,” Colossians 3:12
To leave your old way of life, bear fruit, and embrace God’s gift of purification through the blood of Jesus it’s imperative that submit yourself to wise counsel. I would love to help you through this process with spiritual empowerment coaching! Let me help you put on the whole armor of God and experience a full revelation of Christ Jesus. Let’s transform those fleshly thoughts to spiritually and biblically sound thoughts!
#2 Find The Cause of Your Weakness!
The flesh lusts to fill itself with temporary earthly things. Why? Because, we all have a deep hole in our hearts that need to be filled. We are thirsty! Some of us fill the thirst for love, safety, & approval with things and people. However, the things of this world are temporary and like drugs we will always need more! Only God can satisfy our thirst FOREVER.
“Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” (John 4:13-14)!
Living water produces freedom and healing in our lives. But pain and spiritual dryness produce death, sin, and destruction. When individuals are spiritually dry they struggle with emotions such as shame and guilt, so they blame others, lie, isolate, and use pride to hide their insecurities. The point is, our flesh naturally protects us in an unhealthy way if we are unhealed. God gave us the spirit so that we don’t have to use manipulation, drugs, abuse, etc. to satisfy our dry souls and protect ourselves from pain.
When Adam and Eve ate from the tree of good and evil it opened the door to experiencing shame, guilt, perfection, jealousy, rage, selfishness, pride, etc. However, Jesus came to show us a way to escape those tempting emotions that cause us to sin. Jesus experienced the same temptations and emotional struggles are YOU. He understands the weakness of the flesh. “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin.” Hebrews 4:15
Jesus gave us the power of the Holy Spirit when we got saved, to transform us and remove sinful thoughts and selfish ambitions!
Jesus gave us the power of the Holy Spirit when we got saved. Therefore, if you are struggling with lust, negative thoughts, shame, guilt, etc. you are not allowing the Holy Spirit to perfect your emotions. In my life, I realized I wanted to lie or manipulate when I was scared. That realization helped me to realize I didn’t trust God in certain areas. When I became aware, I was able to practice faith and patience in the areas that were overwhelming me. I sought mentorship and meditated on verses that reminded me of God’s faithfulness.
#3 You Must Die To Self Effort — Human Strength!
When Christ Jesus died on the Cross and you accepted him as your Lord and Savior, He defeated the devil’s grasp on your life. Works of the flesh such as fasting and praying in your own strength will not solve the whole problem. Fasting and praying should be done to renew your mind and surrender to God’s awesomeness!
To renew your mind, you must learn the ways of the Spirit and forget the ways of the flesh. What does that mean? You may need to learn to trust God when you are afraid instead of manipulating, controlling, and rebelling. Or, you may need to repent instead of blaming others when you feel guilt or shame. And, you may need to forgive yourself and stop thinking about what you did wrong after you repented. Your issue might not be listed above, but you must address it with God to get healing.
To access the power of God in your life, you need to build an intimate relationship with God. That means, you are to focus on getting to know God for his character & personality not mainly His power. Fasting and praying to understand how God loves you, restores you, and protects you will give you the tools to walk in the spirit. Read more about unhealthy and healthy fasting & prayer to learn how to get closer to God!
#4 You have the Holy Spirit!
Jesus gave you the Holy Spirit to help you defeat the thoughts that try to entice you to sin. Remember when Jesus was on his 40 day fast? The enemy came and tried to get him to eat and to show off his power! The trick was to get Jesus to be selfish and think only about himself. However, Jesus was selfless and knew he came to die for our sins and show us the path to Heaven with our Father! Jesus didn’t let Satan distract him from his purpose!
That's what the enemy is constantly trying to do -- get us to think about ourselves and not God.
Following the will of God or the enemy requires human sacrifice. To be a good person it requires sacrificing yourself and your wants, to put God’s agenda of loving people first (Selfless). To be known, powerful, fill unhealthy needs, and/or be in control requires putting yourself before everyone else (Selfish). The sacrifices get harder each time… it’ll reveal whose cause we are faithful to.
You can break the cycle of giving into the flesh (selfish desires) by healing! Heal from generational patterns, fear, and anything that keeps you disempowered. You must know that you are loved by God, created in the powerful image of God, and able to walk in TOTAL purity and away from sin.
How To Get Deliverance
I’ve watched too many people try to crucify the flesh by fasting and praying for immediate perfection and transformation. While God can make renewal immediate, there is a beautiful process where we journey with God and he slowly rips off the layers of pain, brokenness, generational patterns, and dysfunctions in the right time.
You need to allow God to guide you while you heal from emotional pain and remove negative mental patterns, so that the enemy doesn’t have an open door to the room of your heart AND the driver’s seat in your mind.
- 20 Min Free – Empowerment Coaching
- Heal by BREAKING generational curses!
- 3 Tips To Break Toxic Generational Patterns NOW!
- 5 Tips for Overcoming The Spirit of Fear
- Crucify your mind: 4+ Ways To Remove Negative Thoughts (15+ Bible Verses)!
- Understand what causes masturbation and lust of the flesh!
- 5 Reasons You Can’t Be A Good Person Without Jesus!
- Guide to Fasting & Prayer for Breakthrough!
How to Crucify the Flesh Daily
- Acknowledge that God is in Control.
- Get to Know God Intimately!
- Wait for God in Difficult Situations.
- Feed yourself the Word of God.
- Pray as Holy Spirit Reminds You!
- Practice Self-Control!
- Treat Others How You Want To be Treated!
- Practice Holy Thinking rather than Carnal Thoughts!
Verses About Dying to Self!
- Love nothing and no-one more than God. “And he answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.” Luke 10:27
- Let Go Control and Trust God. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6
- Dying to self happens when we love others when it’s hard. “If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount.” Luke 6:32-34
- Don’t be selfish, crucify the flesh. “For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,“– 2 Timothy 3:2-4
- Everything we have is to help people not to be better than them! “Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” Philippians 2:3-4
- Help the people around you. “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” — Philippians 2:4
- Let God change your old nature of impure thoughts to spiritual mature thoughts! “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Romans 12:2
- Jesus’ crucifixion was the final offering for our sins and began the process of sanctification within us. “He himself bore our sins” in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; “by his wounds you have been healed.”1 Peter 2:24
- We have access to victory when we acknowledge that Christ died to help us remove our sinful nature. “Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there.”Galatians 5:24
Frequently Asked Questions
What did Paul say about dying? Apostle Paul said that he wants to live a life that honors God and not his flesh, therefore he will gladly die to self. Saul (renamed Paul) was a legalistic Pharisee that killed Christians. When Saul came to Christ, he had to die to his old man and then he became a new man (renamed Paul). This is the sanctification and purification process in Christ. “For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.” Philippians 1: 21
Where in the Bible does it say to die is gain? It mentions to “die is gain” in Philippians 1: 21.
What does self denial in the Bible mean? Self denial in the Bible encourages us not to give into what we want at the moment. Impulsiveness can led us to have sex, lie, manipulate, control, fear, etc. The benefits of denying the flesh are gaining patience, self control, and consistency in being able to remain spiritually minded during temptations.
What does it mean to deny the flesh? In Christianity, it is crucial to deny the selfish and prideful temptations of the flesh. The flesh is carnal and seeks everything and anything that is opposite of God’s desires for this earth. Instead, we should feed the spirit within us and allow it to lead us into truth, love, purity, and abundant life.
What does dying to sin mean? Dying to sin means embracing the power of the Holy Spirit to stop doing the wrong things. Sin makes our life hard and chaotic for no reason. I say for no reason because Jesus already broke the cycle, we just need to believe and start walking in his power.
Related Article: Carnally Minded: + Biblical Tips To Purity!
How can we who died to sin still live in it? We should be disgusted by sin, but we shouldn’t hate ourselves when we mess up. This verse is pointing out that grace is necessary, but eventually we should live a sin free life as we mature.
“For if we have been united with Him like this in His death, we will certainly also be united with Him in His resurrection.We know that our old self was crucified with Him so that the body of sin might be rendered powerless, that we should no longer be slaves to sin. For anyone who has died has been freed from sin.” Romans 6:5-7