Bible Study,  faith,  Singleness

Is Masturbation A Sin According to the Bible?

Please share with others!

The act of masturbation is not a sin. Often times, it is the cause of masturbation that can lead to sin – lust, sexual fantasies, and uncontrollable desires. So, it is very important you approach this subject with great care. Don’t ever be ashamed that you have sexual urges. God created you to enjoy sex and be “fruitful and multiply.”

I would start by asking yourself these simple questions — “Are these urges natural? Or, are my urges being caused by something unhealthy.” Too many people I know feel like sinners for simply desiring sex. If you are ashamed of sexual feelings it will cause you to develop sexual trauma and fears… That will cause you to have unhealthy urges. The truth is, we often want what we fear or suppress.

The unhealthy urges may be embarrassing for you, because you may desire things that are not normal. Feeling that shame can cause more shame, which will make you lust and want SEX even more. It’s a cycle. The uncontrollable thoughts and need for sex is usually a coping mechanism – a way to temporarily heal your emotional pain (I explain further at the end!)

Related QUIZ: What is your coping style?

The Root Cause of Masturbation

Often times, it is the root cause of masturbation that can lead to sin – lust, sexual fantasies, and uncontrollable desires.

Is masturbation a sin according to the Bible? The Bible does not mention the specific action of masturbation (read biblical references here). However, the Bible does say that we must guard our minds against lustful thoughts/fantasies, have self-control, and flee from sexual actions with others outside of marriage. We must also avoid the danger of letting our feelings and desires control our behavior.

Sex and the great feelings from sexual experiences are similar to drugs. Actually, the same part of our brains gets aroused from sex and drugs. Similarly to drugs, it might start out just for fun. You may feel like you can control your desires, but can you?

So the real question is, can you masturbate without lust, sexual fantasies, AND control your sexual appetite at the same time? I’ll let you decide that based on your own self-knowledge. However, if you can’t… a little problem will slowly grow into a major problem – just like a nasty drug habit.

Related Article: 5 Tips On How I Overcame Sexual Addiction!

Thoughts Can Grow Into A Huge Problem

You may picture a man or woman that you find extremely attractive, but you know it would never happen. Or, you may fear homosexuality, so you explore same-sex attraction in your mind. Whatever your preference you feel free doing it because it helps you to manage your desires and then you don’t have to do it in real life.

You know you can’t have them, so you may fantasize and allow yourself to enjoy their presence in your sexual fantasies. What if you were presented with the opportunity to be with the person? The enemy likes to make our thought life come to tempt us. Would you be able to resist it if that fantasy came knocking at your door nonstop even when you try your best to refuse? You’ve been thinking about it for so long and you might want to taste that fruit.

Related Article: 4+ Ways To Defeat Unwanted Thoughts (15+ Bible Verses)

I believe Eve was looking at the fruit in the Garden of Eden before Satan tempted her. When Satan came to tempt her… She had already been fantasizing about the fruit. It was easy for Satan to convince her because her emotions were already there, she already wanted it really badly.

I’ve deleted and blocked people that were being persistent in their pursuit. I sensed a strong sexual connection and I knew that I would definitely have sex. I didn’t think sexual thoughts, but I started to imagine them holding me, etc. I knew these were men that didn’t have control of their desires and were promiscious. I’ve learned not to even entertain the thought of talking and flirting with them. Why? Because, I already know that after being celibate for 9+ years I desire companionship. So, I just avoid any situation that Satan cooks up to get me to stumble in my journey to purity.

Will masturbation affect my marriage?

Masturbation can negatively affect christian marriages… Especially if you are a virgin or celibate for an extended period. Masturbation practices can cause you to have emotional and physical expectations that your partner cannot meet. It can create a false reality of what sex is which leads to disappointment. Lastly, if you aren’t able to control your thoughts and feelings while your single it doesn’t stop while married. You will find other people attractive. Will you lust for them while you’re with your partner? Will you cheat if Satan presents the opportunity?

Sex within a marriage is two people giving themselves selflessly to demonstrate deep love for the other. Real life sex is not like the movies, porn, and nor what’s in your imagination. Everyone has different ideas of what feels good or how much sex they want. Great sex with your partner is a journey and it doesn’t happen instantly or within 3 months. Your partner has no responsibility to fulfill your potentially selfish desire for sex, in the specific way you want it. I hope you have amazing sex in marriage… But, it shouldn’t be a deal breaker !

Do you Cope with Masturbation?

Sex, lust, and fantasies can become a coping mechanism!

Do you have an uncontrollable desire for sex and a relationship? We shouldn’t HAVE to masturbate, have sex, or be near someone to feel good. If you cannot control yourself that is linked to an emotional problem. That means you are using it as a way to deal with unpleasant emotions.

Take a second to figure out whats bothering you. What’s stressing you out beautiful? You’ll soon notice that you desire those things in the moments you are most scared, worried, lonely, ashamed, etc. In fact, being ashamed of your sexual desires can cause shame which makes you want to have SEX! Find a different activity to do while you are stressed and pray/talk to someone that won’t condemn you about what’s going on to start your healing process!

The Heart Detox: An Emotional Cleanse is free ebook I created that will help you address the emotional issues that are could cause you to crave sex. Or, you can ask a specific question about your situation at the Advice Cafe and I would love to answer you!

For me, the more I heal in the areas of loneliness, stress, anxiety, etc. is the less I crave sex. I have VERY infrequent urges. I also refrain from watching certain things or avoid situations that would cause my mind to wander into unhealthy territories. This is different for everyone and it takes time to know what triggers your thoughts and feelings.

Related Article: 5 Tips On How I Overcame Sexual Addiction!

Don’t be hard on yourself!

You’re on a journey.

Whether you want to masturbate or not, is your choice. Though you MUST refrain from entertaining pornography, sexual immorality, and sexual fantasies. If you want to stop, be easy on yourself especially if you’ve been masturbating for years. But know, freedom is possible.

Ask God to help you. If you fall, get back up again tomorrow. I got saved having sex and smoking weed. I did it for 2 years while working on my new relationship with God. I kept praying to God to help me stop. If I had sex one day, I didn’t shame myself and kept fighting to stay pure. I got back up and believed that God would help me conquer and I wouldn’t always stumble. I tried my best. I kept reading the Bible. I kept praying.

We are human, God understands how hard it is for us to remain pure! For that reason, God gave us the Holy Spirit to help us in times of weaknesses. Believe that you have the power of God living inside of you to defeat lustful thoughts and uncontrollable urges! You will be victorious.

Related Article: 4+ Ways To Defeat Unwanted Thoughts (15+ Bible Verses)

Christina Daniels is the founder of Adorned Heart. She is devoted to learning about human behavior and its affects on society. She received a B.A. in Psychology and M.A. in Public Policy. She hopes to use her life and academic experience to empower & heal the hearts of women!

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