Are you codependent? You can take this quiz to identify if you have any of the 30 traits of codependency.
What happens if I’m codependent? Codependency is normal. Most people are dependent on someone else. But, codependency is not healthy. If you are codependent it’s important to start your healing journey. I can help you on your journey or empower you to set others on a healing journey with 20min Free 1:1 Empowerment coaching.
What is codependency?
Codependency is being dependent on people to meet your for emotional, mental, or physical needs. Without the other person, you feel empty, alone, scared, anxiety, frustrated, etc. You essentially have an unhealthy attachment to the person or other people.
Codependency causes us to be needy, search for people to give us all the answers, look for someone to make us feel safe, and expect other people to make us feel loved and better about something that bothers us: (10 Emotional Triggers + Needs That Destroy Relationships!). It also causes us to think that it’s our job to make people feel better. Everyone must experience real happiness, love, and joy through God if they want to Find The Real Source Of Happiness & Love!
You nor I are strong enough to make anyone feel “better.” They have a hole that needs to be fixed. When we try to fix people it will not work because we are not God. Eventually, the person’s problem or your problem will become too big to control. Codependency hides the problem for a little… But, it will eventually come to the light and cause damage in your relationship.
Extreme codependence can be so unhealthy that it is categorized as a mental health disorder, you can read more at Family First Interventions.
Signs you’re in a codependent relationship:
- Your relationship is centered on making each other feel good.
- You or they don’t feel complete, safe, nor happy without your partner.
- You feel like there is something off in your relationship.
- There are no boundaries — everything Is shared between you two.
- There is no “correction.” Bad behaviors go under the rug.
- The relationship provides a feeling of safety and security.
- One person in the relationship is controlling and the other is passive.
- One person in the relationship is always right and the other just goes with whatever to keep the peace.
- One person feels overly guilty if they make the other feel bad — even if the person who felt bad did something wrong.
- You or they may feel jealous when love is given to someone else other than you.
You can take this quiz to identify if you have any of the take this quiz. The key to conquering codependency is realizing which of your traits are codependent. If you are unaware you will continue in the unhealthy patterns.
If the other person continues to cross your boundaries and forces you to meet their expectations and needs, you may be dating someone with a mental health disorder.
What causes codependence?
Codependence is usually passed down from our parents’ patterns. Codependent parents usually use codependent traits to raise us. For instance, they may be overly involved in our emotions. They may give us anything we need to make us feel better — this doesn’t give us room to learn healthy tactics of feeling better nor give us room to heal with God.
Another example, the parent might be our source of wisdom and advice. Or, your parents could of looked to you or others to be their source of advice. Either way, they didn’t teach you to feel safe trusting your own opinion. So, you end up in relationships and friendships with people that control your opinion. They control your opinion because they are scared and need to feel secure too. However, they stand strong on their opinion and won’t listen to outside advice because if their is something wrong with their opinion… Then, they won’t feel safe.
What is the result of a codependent relationship?
Codependents usually have short lived or toxic relationships and friendships, that end up in separation or divorce. Why? Because, these pairs often don’t love each other for who they are. They love each other because of how they “feel” or what they “do.” When one of the codependents stop pleasing the other person, the other will start to get upset… And, usually the relationship will start to fall apart.
Codependents are also more likely to date toxic partners and have toxic friendships. In fact, the unloved codependent and the empathetic codependent are likely to attract each other. Why? They both temporarily provide the love that they have never had and solve all their emotional needs. But, it’s temporary and not permanent.
Yes, a codependent relationship can be saved. However, both parties have to put in the hard work. I can help you start the process and empower you to finish the process! Start codependency healing and recovery with empowerment coaching NOW! You’ll get the first 20 minutes for FREE!