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As a recovering codependent, I often struggle with trusting my own mind. I often need people around me to tell me I’m not crazy and I have the ability to make my life into the masterpiece I want. Eventually I realized, I won’t need as many encouragements from people if I practice positive self-talk specifically for my codependency weaknesses.
I targeted 6 root causes that codependents usually struggle with when I created these affirmations for YOU!
My sweet friend, I use these affirmations too. I'm constantly re-wiring my mind with these mantras and reminding myself that I'm healed because staying healthy is a life long journey and not a quick sprint.
Affirmations to Heal Codependency
- I am not responsible for the pain of others.
- I am only responsible for my actions.
- I am allowed to say NO without being questioned and harassed.
- I don’t have to anticipate the needs of everyone around me.
- I don’t have to protect everyone from getting hurt.
- I am allowed to make a mistake and re-adjust how I behave next time.
- I will not shame myself for doing what I thought was best at the moment.
- What’s wrong is wrong. I don’t need to excuse their behavior, they can change or apologize.
- I am not a bad person because I realized that they’re broken.
- It is not my job to make others feel better.
- I will release my shame and guilt for God to heal.
- I will not tiptoe around the feelings of others.
- I do not have to constantly consider the emotions of others.
- I did it for the right reason, so I don’t need to second guess my intentions constantly.
- I will drop my shoulders, unclench my jaws, and relax.
- There is no reason to worry.
- I can’t prevent fate from happening, so I will do my best and let life take it from there.
- I do not hurt people on purpose.
I will not tiptoe around the feelings of others.
- I see their actions clearly and I don’t deserve that.
- I am not confused and I know how to handle this situation accurately.
- I can set limits and boundaries with people that I don’t want to have total access to my time, money, feelings, talents, and physical space.
- I am breathing easy and my body is light and relaxed.
- I will stretch my arms and release the tension in my shoulders.
- The negative perspectives and thoughts that others have about me are inaccurate.
- I will not apologize or accept false guilt, when I didn’t do anything wrong.
- I will try my best to avoid being with an explosive and argumentative person in the future.
- I can choose myself and love others well too.
- I will only give others what I can and not what makes me tired or bitter.
- I can trust my gut when it tells me something isn’t right.
- I can make decisions without having to explain myself to anyone.
- I am allowed to answer the phone when I want to.
- I don’t have to talk to anyone that makes me feel uncomfortable.
- I don’t have to accept advice from people I don’t trust.
- I am allowed to stop sharing personal information with people that judge me.
- I deserve to have people in my life that encourage me.
- God loves them more than I do.
- I live with pure intentions.
- I can trust my experience of the situation.
- I am not stuck and I have choices.
- My true friends will always try to think the best of me and see the gold within me.
- I have valuable opinions and thoughts.
- I deserve to be respected by the people I love.
- I am happy and there are great experiences waiting for me.
- I am worthy of kind, patient, selfless, and amazing friends.
- My standards for relationships and friendships are high because I give my whole heart.
- I have the ability and choice to leave friendships and relationships that don’t work for me.
- I am allowed to get others involved to help me leave an unhealthy relationship.
- Thank you father for guiding them and helping them to release their burden.
- I do not have to prove that my intentions were pure to myself or anyone. God sees my heart.
- I am more than the opinions and thoughts of others.
- I am allowed to find new friends or a partner that fit my positive and healthy lifestyle.
- I am allowed to disagree with someone’s opinion or advice.
- I am not disobedient because I chose my own path.
My standards for relationships and friendships are high because I give my whole heart.
- I will not ignore nor dismiss my pain because I understand their pain too.
- I am allowed to have my own perspective even if I understand their side of the issue.
- I can embrace their truth, my emotions, and the truth in love.
- I will respect their reality, but I will request that my reality is respected too.
- I don’t have to understand my feelings for them to be valid.
- I am on the right track even if I feel confused.
- I will write down what I know is true about myself and the situation to stay anchored.
- My confusion and highly intense emotions will simmer down soon.
- I will treat my self kindly and do something nice for myself as I calm down.
- I am stronger than these emotions!
- I am NOT afraid of challenging situations.
- It is okay for me to allow others to deal with the consequences of their actions. I don’t have to fix it.
- I will not take responsibility for the arguments that others caused.
- I do not have to help in easing anyone’s pain If I’m feeling emotional.
- I will not worry about loosing the people that love me.
- If I’m a good person and trust God, the right people will remain in my life.
- I do not control the actions of others.
- I am not to blame for their bad behaviors.
- I will try my best to love others, but it’s not my responsibility to make them feel loved.
Related Article: 59+ Powerful Positive Affirmations for Anxiety!
Love will come to me and I don’t have to manipulate anyone to get it.
- I do not need alcohol or drugs to improve my mood.
- I can experience happiness without a partner or friend.
- My mind is a safe place and I don’t have to run away from my thoughts.
- Just because I feel an emotion doesn’t mean I have to act on it.
- My emotions are like a wave, they will come and go swiftly.
- I am hard at work on my dreams and goals.
- I can explore avenues to feel better even when my support system is unavailable.
- I will not force anyone to be there for me.
- Love will come to me and I don’t have to manipulate anyone to get it.
- Therapy is a good option if I need expert advice to get emotionally unstuck.
- I will allow my support system to be there for me in a healthy way.
- I will not isolate and drown myself in self pity.
- I will fight to see myself as pure, safe, and loved.
- I deserve to experience happiness and hope.
- I am not weak because I need therapy or psychiatric medication.
6 Signs You’re Codependent
- Codependents often lack self love and heathy self-esteem: I realized I allowed people to treat me poorly when I didn’t value myself.
- Codependents are often worrying about everyone’s problems and trying to fix all the issues around them: I realized that it isn’t my job to fix people’s problems or messes. Sometimes people need to experience the stress of a situation, so that they can learn a valuable life lesson.
- People-pleasing is often a tactic used by codependents to ensure people like them and they don’t make others upset: I learned that I don’t have to make people feel good or comfortable all the time. I also learned that people pleasing is a form of control and people will eventually show their true colors no matter how much I cater to them.
- Many people that struggle with codependency need to feel needed: By fixing others and focusing on what everyone else’s emotional needs we tend to feel important, but that isn’t real love. We must learn to feel loved for our personalities and souls FIRST.
- People will learn to survive if the codependent doesn’t always take charge: The codependent often thinks they’re needed to help resolve or avoid problems. However, life brings the right people and situations to help people along in their journey. We are not God and don’t need to overly involve ourselves in any situation.
- Empaths have a high likelihood of become codependents: feeling the pain of others and remaining inactive is hard. However, empaths tend to attract individuals with severe brokenness when they don’t have a limit to their physical and emotional treasures.
6 Levels of Codependency Recovery
In my personal journey, I have found that the major sign you’re healing from codependency is you become aware of your own habits and the habits of others. I also realized that codependency healing happens in stages. Here are the 6 stages that I experienced:
In level 1 of my codependency recovery journey, I realized what codependence was.
In level 2, I learned I was attracting toxic partners because I was filling their emotional needs and voids.
In level 3, I realized that I had the ability to say no and set boundaries. Also, I don’t have to please everyone!
In level 4, I started seeing how controlling, manipulative, and aggressive the people around me are when I started using “no” and setting boundaries. I became aware that I run to new codependent relationships for advice which is an unhealthy way to deal with the pain of old codependent relationships.
In level 5, I stopped feeling guilty and ashamed for staying on the path to healing. I started trusting my opinions and decisions, so I stopped desperately needing everyone to guide me.
In level 6, I realized that I’m worthy of RESPECT and LOVE, which means I don’t have to people-please to get it. The right people will gravitate to me and the wrong ones God will remove. Now, I continue to learn different strategies to avoid people-pleasing and avoiding manipulative people forcing me to be their codependent friend or partner. And I’m constantly developing my confidence and sticking to boundaries, personal peace, and healing.