I know you are tired of waiting on God for a husband, but don’t give into temptation.
The enemy wants to persuade you to date counterfeits – men that are emotionally broken, abusive, inconsistent, double minded, jealous of you, and unable to cling to God when times get hard. Therefore, as a single woman, it’s important to know who you deserve and what you deserve.
You should never take the bait from Satan and date someone that only temporarily fills your "lack" - loneliness, insecurities, and fears. Instead, use singleness as a time to heal and attract healthy men.
Related Article: 23 Signs God is Preparing You for a Relationship
The Devil’s Tricks
It is interesting how the devil is still using the same tricks and challenges from biblical times to distract us from God’s word and God’s way.
When Jesus was in the desert fasting for 40 days and 40 nights, the devil said to him, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.”(Matthew 4:3). He knew that in his fasting, Jesus would be hungry from the lack of food. He also knew that God had called Jesus to be obedient and accept this lack in his life. So that’s what the devil went after, that lack.
Satan challenged Jesus by tempting him with everything he lacked. He was tempted with the thing that was missing, and the thing that He wanted.
The Enemy is After Our Identity
He challenged the very essence of who Jesus was, his identity. The irony is that the only way Jesus could prove that he was who he said he was, was by going against who he actually was. Think about it this way, Jesus was obedient to God and lived his life not for his own wants and comforts, but to carry out the work of God. Therefore, Jesus’ identity was being the son of God and being obedient to God in all things.
If Jesus accepted the devil’s challenge, He would’ve needed to “prove” that he was indeed the son of God. If Jesus needed to prove himself, it would have reflected his impatience and selfish concern with his own wants, needs, and desire to feel powerful. Also, If Jesus accepted what the devil was offering him, He would have to be disobedient and decide not to wait on God’s best.
The devil, ultimately, wanted Jesus to be concerned with filling his emptiness and ending his state of “lack”. Thankfully, Jesus didn’t give into the desperation for food and emotional fulfillment. Instead, He declared that God’s word was more necessary in moments of lack:
"But He answered [the devil] and said, “It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God." Then Jesus said to him, “Away with you, Satan! For it is written, ‘You shall worship the Lord your God, and Him only you shall serve.’ ” Matthew 4:1-11
Related Article: 21 Encouraging Bible Verses for Single Women
Don’t Date Counterfeits
This is what happens to so many of us in relationships. We have such an intense desire to love and be loved fully. When we meet someone, we don’t get confirmation that it is of God’s alignment and timing. Instead, we listen when the devil starts whispering.
We believe the devil when he says, “Why wait? You can have the love of your life now. All you have to do is prove that you are who you say you are. Show your greatness and value by pouring all of your love and all of yourself into this relationship. Give them a love so powerful that it ignores your boundaries. Stay with them no matter the compromises to your identity. Prove your love by being their ride or die. If you really are who you say you are, you will be rewarded with the love that you want.”
But what the devil doesn’t tell you is that this is another one of his tricks. After all, the devil’s sole purpose is to distract you from God’s call on your life and keep you bound to discord, chaos, and disconnection.
The devil doesn’t tell you that no matter how much you pour into a counterfeit:
- They won’t know what to do with it.
- A counterfeit will mishandle you and your love and they won’t be able to reciprocate it.
- They will have you compromising the very values that make up your identity.
- And most importantly, they will move you away from God’s purpose because they are not who God has ordained for you and this relationship is not in God’s timing.
Staying in Alignment with God’s Timing
See Jesus knew who he was, he understood God’s timing, and he remained obedient to his identity. He understood that what was being withheld from him was a part of his development and a preparation for his purpose.
And although God is using our season of singleness in the same way; to develop and prepare us for his purpose for our lives; we get caught up in what we are missing if we see our wants not being fulfilled and we feel the lack.
So we succumb to the whispers of the devil and commit to “proving our identity”:
- We prove our identity by getting into relationships with people for whom we are unequally yoked.
- We prove it by accepting disrespect and mistreatment.
- And we prove it by adopting toxic and unhealthy behaviors to keep the relationship.
I want to encourage you to study and learn from Jesus’ example. As a child of God, you don’t have to prove your worth or value to anyone. God has already given it to you and it is irrevocable.
Why does God makes us wait for marriage?
God makes us wait for marriage because He wants to heal our hearts, remove idolatry, and strip us of everything that hinders love. Too often we date others because we want that person to end our emotional, physical, and spiritual lack. The truth is, we will eventually realize that our partner isn’t perfect and they can only provide conditional love.
Waiting allows God to become our permanent source of unconditional love. Only God can truly provide permanent fulfillment for our areas of lack.
So, be steadfast in your obedience and trust in God’s timing. See your season of singleness not as lack, but as strengthening and shaping. God has crafted someone to be your earthly love and partner. When it is time, God will reveal that person to you. And in God’s divineness, that love and partnership will never require you to prove your identity and it will never take you away from God’s word and God’s way.
Be patient but don’t think of this time as your waiting season. This is your walking season. It is about the walk you take with God and the walk you take with yourself. Lean in and enjoy it. Allow yourself to have life and have it abundantly. Right now and in every season.
Related Article: 6 Reasons to Wait On God Despite Pain