MYTH: You DON’T Attract Who You Are!
dating,  self-love,  toxic relationships

4 Reasons You Attract Who You Are!

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The term “you attract what you are” is somewhat true but slightly misleading. This phrase removes the fact that — Someone noticed YOU because YOU are AMAZING. In fact, God created humans in his image. Therefore, you are a beautiful reflection of God.

Your smile, laugh, personality, jokes, interests, preference of music, kindness, your body, your eyes, the way you think, what you like to eat, your hobbies, your intellect — These are ALL unique qualities that only you have all together at once. Therefore, when someone SEEs you… They see an AMAZING person who is worthy of love.

When they started talking to you… They were attracted to your energy, personality, and uniqueness. Maybe you’re soft and gentle? Or, maybe your opinionated and feisty? Perhaps, you are mixture of sweet and spicy with a pinch of adventure and tomboyish-ness?!?! Either way, people are attracted to YOU and they want to be around YOU! Don’t believe it? Well you should and if you don’t then you are struggling with low self-esteem… because, you are someone’s PERFECT dream partner.

What you attract is a reflection of you:

You are what you attract,” is not true in the sense that most promote it. You are AMAZING and you do not attract toxic men because you’re horrible. That is incorrect. However, the reason you KEEP toxic men in your life is due to your own trauma and areas that need growth/healing.

Related QUIZ: Why are you attracting the wrong men?

What type of guys do I attract?

You attract guys that are interested in you. Yea, because let’s be honest… They saw you and felt your energy and it was great. Soo… the real question isn’t why were they attracted to you… But, why do you keep unhealthy guys in your life? Take this quiz to find out the 4 reasons you keep the wrong type of guys in your life.

The quiz will give you four reasons your are dating the wrong men and tips to change the pattern. These tips will take you one step closer to finding the right person. I want you to help you heal these areas so you can stop wondering when you will be meeting Mr. Right!

4 Tips On How to Attract The Right Man:

Attracting men is a simple process if you have the proper skills and approach the process with emotional health. In fact, there are four core areas that I believe will help anyone spot Mr. Right. The four core areas are:

  1. Self-esteem – loving yourself and not letting anyone treat you less than amazing.
  2. Boundaries / Awareness – being aware of others motives and toxicity.
  3. Vocalizing Your Needs – being able to ask for what you need kindly.
  4. Emotional Maturity – approaching relationships with calmness and logical thinking.

You can read more on these four areas in the article 4 keys to find Mr. Right! I explain how to meet the right guy is like job-hunting. You should be in a relationship where you are both amazed by the opportunity and work to provide a good environment with room for growth. Ultimately, you both should carry a growth mindset and journey on the same path of healing together.

 "I suggest that you are dating unhealed men because you have unhealed areas within yourself."

What kind of guys do I attract? I suggest you are keeping men that are insecure, don’t know how to communicate, are emotionally immature, and don’t have boundaries…. Because, you lack these core things as well. When you learn to do these things in your life you will be able to spot men that aren’t. Then, you can decide to date them, help them on their growing process, or leave them!

Related Video: 4 Ways to Attract Mr. Right

Why Do I Attract Married Men?

Once again, you attract men because you are amazing. There isn’t something wrong with you that makes married men come up to you. Cheaters that are single, married, or dating will find a way to cheat because that’s the way they deal with their problems. Yes, cheaters use sex and emotional affairs to deal with their pain.

You are most likely KEEPING these men in your life because you are very empathetic, emotionally stuck, and/or fun. These men are looking for an escape from the pain in their life, relationships, and job. There is something about your personality that makes him feel relaxed, free, and loved.

Related Quiz: Am I An Empath?

You must learn that he is taking from you because you are amazing. However, He will break you down and make you unhappy just like he did to his wife.

"He loved his wife because of her energy."

But, when her energy ran low he didn’t give her anything. He started looking for the energy outside of his home. Some of these men may leave their wife thinking, “We fell out of love.”

However, the cycle will repeat. Once he sucks the amazing energy from your life… He will find another woman and cheat on you with her. The truth is, he has unhealthy coping skills and he is looking for love in all the wrong places. He needs to be healed by God. He has a broken heart that no human can fix and fill with love.

You Attract What You Put Out

Do you want to show up as confident, amazing, and lovable to the world? When you show up positively then you’ll attract what you put out! So, let me teach you access self-love that will help you attract the right men in your life. Find Mr. Right with these four strategies!

Additional FAQs

Do you attract what you are?

The meaning of you attract what you are and not what you want is you end up staying with broken people, if you are broken. The truth is, if you are broken you can’t tell who is healed. Pain damages our ability to see clearly and evaluate someone else.

Do you attract what you fear?

We tend to attract what we fear in life. I believe God allows it to happen, so that we can deal with the area of fear.

The Bible instructs us "do not fear" so many times and He wants us to live confidently.

Here are verses that affirm that you attract what you are in the Bible:

  • If you just want a relationship to make you feel better or make you feel loved, you aren’t fully seeking it for the right reason. God is suppose to fill us. “And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong—you want only what will give you pleasure.” James 4:3
  • “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.” – Proverbs 23:7
  • When you live a Godly life to please God, and get healed… God will give you his best. “Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.” Galatians 6:8
  • “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalms 37:4 Delight in the Lord? We need to spend time getting to know God. As we get to know God through reading the Bible we learn what to ask for. We learn what God would want us to pray for. What He wants is His will for this earth, His will is for all his children to know He loves them. His will is often not our will. We have to learn how much God loves us to show others the same love. Our prayers should be centered on experiencing His real love and allowing others to experience it to.

Christina Daniels is the founder of Adorned Heart. She is devoted to learning about human behavior and its affects on society. She received a B.A. in Psychology and M.A. in Public Policy. She hopes to use her life and academic experience to empower & heal the hearts of women!

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