Addressing the problem starts with understanding the difference between being proud and prideful. A proud man is confident, acknowledging both strengths and struggles. On the other hand, a prideful man feels insecure and adopts coping mechanisms like denial or blame-shifting to avoid painful experiences.
A prideful man builds a wall around their fragile ego to protect themselves from pain.
25 Signs of a Prideful Man
- Projects a know-it-all attitude.
- Struggles with low self-esteem.
- Avoids vulnerability, thus refraining from sharing fears and failures.
- Avoids seeking help or assistance.
- Struggles with offering sincere apologies.
- Refuses to admit wrongdoing, even when it is evident.
- He uses the partner to boost his ego rather than fostering a mutual and loving relationship.
- Holds onto a victim mentality, avoiding responsibility for actions.
Belittles yours or the achievements others through name-calling and insults.
- Is condescending and rejects alternative opinions.
- Constantly highlights his own and others’ shortcomings, fostering feelings of inadequacy.
- Criticizes and belittles when positive changes are attempted.
- Engages in competitive behavior, always seeking to outdo others.
- Holds a belief in possessing all answers, dismissing others’ perspectives.
- He lacks respect for your opinions, often belittling or invalidating them.
- Engages in dishonesty, manipulation, and controlling behavior.
- He believes you’re is fortunate to be with him, overlooking mutual benefits.
Manipulates and controls situations to fulfill personal desires.
- Displays power-hungry and controlling behavior.
- He frequently adopts a defensive stance in discussions.
- Demonstrates a lack of trust or suspicion.
- Craves recognition as the best.
- Shifts blame onto others for personal shortcomings.
- Engages in criticism and judgment of others.
- He uses his social status, physical appearance, career, or money to assert his superiority over you.
- Points out your shortcomings constantly.
Am I Prideful Quiz:
Take this pride test to find out if you are struggling with pride.
How to Deal With A Prideful Husband
Being involved with a prideful man can be very tricky. Generally, women can be seen as too emotional and you may feel that you’re overreacting. In addition, being with a prideful man can be even more complicated because he may not know he’s operating in pride. His lack of behavioral awareness may be due to a blindspot.
1. Identify the problem
Take a moment to identify what your husband’s behaviors are and when they occur. This will help you recognize patterns in his behavior and feel less confused. Additionally, trying to understand his behaviors will help you seek effective support to deal with the problems.
- Pay Attention: Watch how your husband acts in different situations.
- Stay Open-Minded: Don’t assume things, just observe without judging.
- Take Notes: Write down when you notice certain odd behaviors.
- Remember When: Note the times when these behaviors happen.
- Look for Repeats: Check if the same behaviors happen again and again.
- Think About Why: Consider if there’s anything that triggers these behaviors.
- Stick to Facts: Focus on what you actually see, not what you think it means. Notice More: Watch for these behaviors happening more than once.
2. Communicate With Your Husband
When you’re ready, have a talk with your husband. Tell him you’ve noticed some things and you want to understand him better so both of you can grow.
When you talk to your husband, remember good communication matters. Share your feelings honestly and kindly, and listen to what he says. Make sure you’re not attacking or being unkind. Check if your own pride might be making things harder. If you did something wrong, it’s okay to apologize – it can help both of you understand each other better.
Also, pay attention to how he acts and talks. Be cautious if he starts saying hurtful things or blaming you for everything without considering your feelings. Watch out for these signs to keep the conversation on track.
Related Article: 10 Keys to Communicate without Arguing in Romantic Relationships
3. Trust Yourself
Your husband may change the way events or things you said happened (distort reality) based on his level of pride. He may be unaware of his behavior, unwilling to change, and/or unable to see the truth. The truth might be too painful for him to hear. He may bring up everything you’ve done wrong.
Your husband may have an exaggerated view of his abilities or accomplishments, or he may minimize his mistakes or shortcomings. He may twist facts and events to fit his own version of reality and deny the reality of others. For example, he may deny making hurtful comments and/or blame you for his mistakes. His distortions may lead to confusion, misunderstandings, and conflicts in your relationship.
Essentially, he may use manipulation, control, dominance, lying, blame-shifting, a victim mentality, gas-lighting, abuse, and other toxic strategies to deal with the situation.
Related Article: Empaths Attract Narcissists in Relationship: 3 Keys To End Cycle!
4. Seek Professional Help
If your husband doesn’t see how he is adding to the relational problems, then it’s time to seek outside help. Seeking individual and couple’s counseling is ideal. Essentially, you both need your own therapists to help address how you are adding to the problem. Then a couple’s counselor will help you both work together to address the problems.
Professional help can provide valuable insight into the root causes of your relationship conflicts. It’s possible that your partner isn’t struggling with pride but may be frustrated with your behavior, which may have caused him to lose trust and respect for you. In this case, couple’s counseling can help address these underlying issues and work towards restoring your partner’s confidence in you.
Resources: Want to join Adorned Heart’s Women’s Prayer on Zoom? You will meet women that are ready to support you, as you pray for wholeness in your marriage. You can fill out this form to let me know your availability to do a prayer call on zoom twice a month! We will also explore what the Bible has to say about prayer!
5. Be Humble
It may be difficult to help your husband recognize his pride if you’re struggling with your own pride. You need to make sure that you’re not simply blaming your significant other for everything that’s going wrong in your relationship without considering your own contribution to the problem.
If you can’t identify any areas where you could improve or recognize any of your own negative behaviors, it’s possible that you have a blind spot when it comes to your own pride. It’s important to be honest with yourself and examine your own behavior, even if it’s uncomfortable or difficult to do so. Remember that thinking you’re more emotionally mature than your husband can also be a sign of pride.
What are blindspots?
In relationships, according to Good Therapy, blind spots are areas where individuals lack judgment, awareness, or perspective, impacting the relationship negatively or as a growth area. Recognizing these blind spots can be challenging, often leading to communication difficulties and arguments. Seeking the help of a therapist can assist in identifying blind spots and addressing unhealthy behaviors.
Related Article: In Love With A Prideful Man? 6 Helpful Tips!
What causes blindspots?
Reducing the negative effects of blind spots requires accepting that we don’t know everything and that our behaviors affect others differently. Here are 9 causes of blind spots:
- Diverse Perspectives: Differences in culture, age, income, intellect, gender, family trauma, and childhood experiences shape communication.
- Unhealthy Coping: Some may use toxic strategies, unaware that these behaviors are unhealthy and viewing them as normal.
- Emotional needs: Difficulty in expressing needs may lead to using unhealthy coping mechanisms, affecting communication.
- Unforgiveness: Holding onto anger distorts perception, impacting how we interpret others’ words and actions.
- Lack of Vulnerability: Fear of abandonment and insecurities may hinder openness, crucial for healthy communication.
- Overwhelming Emotions: Communicating from a place of pain or heightened emotions can affect how we express ourselves.
- Romantic Expectations: Misunderstanding the purpose of a relationship may lead to unrealistic expectations and communication issues. What if the purpose of a relationship is having a companion and teammate to tackle life with? And what if we had enough unconditional love to love someone in their mess?
- Lack of Wisdom or Maturity: Understanding diverse perspectives requires maturity and open-mindedness.
- Pride: Communication issues arise when someone believes they know everything and are unwilling to learn.
Acknowledging and working on these blind spots in a relationship is essential for creating a safe, patient, and kind environment for personal exploration.
