10 Examples of Toxic Relationships in the Bible

Have you—or someone you love—ever done something wrong but didn’t expect to? Maybe it wasn’t planned, but your emotions took over… and before you knew it, you were caught in something messy.

You’re not alone.

Even some of the most well-known people in the Bible got pulled into unhealthy relationships and dynamics. They let fear, lust, pride, control, or insecurity lead their choices—and those choices caused real damage.

Toxic relationships are emotionally exhausting and spiritually draining. Often, one or both people refuse to take responsibility or even try to change, no matter how much harm they cause. The Bible doesn’t sugarcoat this truth. It shows just how broken humanity can be—and yet, how God keeps pursuing us with unrelenting grace.

These stories aren’t just ancient history. They’re warnings, lessons, and hopefully, guides to help us avoid repeating the same mistakes.

10 Examples of Toxic Relationships in the Bible:

Explore these main examples of toxic relationships in the Bible, including abusive behavior and unhealthy dynamics, with Scripture-based insight for recognizing and ending them.

1. Lot and Lot’s Wife – When Desire Ties You to Destruction (Genesis 19)

God was trying to save them. Lot and his wife were literally being dragged out of a city God was about to destroy—but her heart was still tied to it. Her body left Sodom, but her desire didn’t. She looked back—not just physically, but emotionally. She longed for the life God was rescuing her from.
Rebellion: She desired what God called dangerous.
Toxic trait: Choosing comfort over obedience.
Your reflection: How often do we delay our healing because our hearts are still attached to what God already told us to leave behind?

2. David and Bathsheba – When Desire Replaces Discipline (2 Samuel 11)

David wasn’t where he was supposed to be. He stayed home instead of going to war—and that small compromise set the stage for disaster. He lusted after Bathsheba’s beauty, focused on how she looked—not who she really was. Instead of pausing to pray, reflect, or exercise self-discipline, he gave in to his emotions and temptation. Learning more about what tempts you without setting boundaries only leads you further into destructive patterns. When confronted by the prophet Nathan, David finally repented—but by then, the damage was done.
Rebellion: Ignoring your conscience and giving in to unchecked desires.
Toxic trait: Using others to satisfy your pleasure and lust, avoiding personal accountability.
Your reflection: Are you in a situation where someone is using you to satisfy their pleasure or lust? Or are you avoiding personal accountability by justifying choices that don’t honor your worth?

Related Article: 10 Emotional Needs That Destroy Relationships!

3. Abraham, Sarah, and Hagar – When Control Looks Like Faith (Genesis 16)

Sarah wanted what God promised—but she was tired of waiting. So she made her own plan. She used Hagar as a solution, not a person. When things didn’t go as expected, she grew bitter, jealous, and mistreated Hagar harshly. And Abraham? He went along with it.
Rebellion: Doubting God’s timing and forcing a promise.
Toxic trait: Manipulation, emotional or physical abuse, and controlling others to ease your own anxiety.
Your reflection: Are you trying to make something happen because you’re afraid God forgot you? Are you pulling people into your pain and calling it obedience?

4. Ahab and Jezebel – When Passivity Partners with Evil (1 Kings 21)

Jezebel was bold, controlling, and ruthless. But Ahab—he was passive. He wanted what he wanted, but didn’t want the blood on his hands. Jezebel stepped in to manipulate, lie, and kill so he could get what he desired. And Ahab let her.
Rebellion: Refusing to confront sin—especially when it benefits you.
Toxic trait: Enabling evil by staying silent.
Your reflection: Are you allowing someone to act in sin just to keep the peace or get what you want? Has your silence become agreement?

5. Samson and Delilah – When Love is One-Sided (Judges 16)

Samson fell hard for Delilah, but her love came with strings—and silver. She asked again and again for the secret to his strength, not to protect him, but to profit off him. And Samson, drawn in by his feelings and pride, kept returning to someone who had no intention of guarding his heart.
Rebellion: Trusting feelings over discernment.
Toxic trait: Giving access to someone who keeps using and betraying you.
Your reflection: Are you mistaking attention for love? Have you stayed in something long after it proved it wasn’t safe for your soul?

Related Article: Empaths Attract Narcissists In Relationship: 3 Keys To End Cycle!

6. Solomon and His Wives – When Wisdom Isn’t Enough (1 Kings 11)

Solomon had wisdom, wealth, and favor—yet still gave his heart to women who worshipped other gods. Over time, their influence pulled him away from the Lord. He didn’t lose God overnight. It happened slowly, through divided loyalty and unchecked desires.
Rebellion: Compromising spiritually for emotional or physical connection.
Toxic trait: Letting relationships pull you further from God rather than closer.
Your reflection: What or who are you connected to that’s draining your spiritual fire? Is the relationship worth the spiritual cost?

7. Adam and Eve – When Blame Breaks Intimacy (Genesis 3)

They had everything: intimacy with God, each other, and creation. But one choice to believe a lie fractured it all. Instead of covering each other, they covered themselves. Instead of taking ownership, they blamed. Sin didn’t just separate them from God—it immediately divided them from each other.
Rebellion: Believing lies over God’s voice.
Toxic trait: Blame-shifting and emotional disconnection.
Your reflection: Are you hiding from accountability? Are you blaming others for your own choices—and losing intimacy in the process?

Related QUIZ: Are you in a toxic relationship with someone?

8. Hosea and Gomer – When Love Is Constant but Commitment Isn’t (Hosea 1–3)

God told Hosea to marry Gomer, a woman who would break his heart—on purpose. She left him, chased other lovers, and kept returning to the life that hurt her. And Hosea? He kept pursuing her. Not because she deserved it—but because his love for her was a reflection of God’s love for His people.
Rebellion: Repeated unfaithfulness in the face of grace.
Toxic trait: Running from real love because you’re more familiar with pain.
Your reflection: Have you pushed away people who truly care because part of you still feels unworthy? Are you sabotaging safe love?

9. God and Humanity – When the Faithful Husband Is Rejected (Jeremiah 3:20, Hosea 2:14-20, Ezekiel 16)

Over and over, God calls His people His bride—yet we’ve played the harlot. We chase other “lovers”: idols, fame, control, people, pleasure. In Jeremiah 3:20, He says, “Like a woman unfaithful to her husband, so you, Israel, have been unfaithful to me.” Still, God doesn’t walk away. He keeps calling us back with love, longing to restore the covenant we break. In the New Testament, Christ is the faithful Bridegroom who gave Himself for His bride (the Church), preparing her to be holy and radiant (Ephesians 5:25–27), and at the end, the wedding of the Lamb is celebrated (Revelation 19:7).
Rebellion: Preferring idols over intimacy with God.
Toxic trait: Giving your heart to everything but the One who actually loves you.
Your reflection: Are you treating God like an option instead of your covenant partner? What “lovers” are stealing your affection, time, or worship?

Related Article: 10 Powerful Prayers For Toxic Relationships

10. The Woman at the Well – When Brokenness Leads to Toxic Patterns (John 4)

She had been married five times, and now she was with a man who wasn’t her husband. This reflects a painful pattern of brokenness—searching for love, security, or acceptance in relationships that lacked true commitment and stability. Being with someone outside of marriage may have been a sign of emotional survival in a world that rejected her, but it also kept her trapped in cycles of insecurity and shame. Yet Jesus met her with grace, offering healing and a new identity beyond her past.
Rebellion: Seeking love and validation in unstable, non-committed relationships.
Toxic trait: Repeating patterns of brokenness fueled by lack of commitment that deepen shame and isolation.
Your reflection: Are you caught in cycles of unstable relationships without real commitment? How might God want to heal those wounds and help you find true security?

Conclusion

If these stories have spoken to you, know that healing is possible—you don’t have to stay stuck in cycles of toxic pain. That’s why I created Healing After Toxic Love, a 12-chapter guide filled with honest information, reflections, worksheets, and quizzes to help you understand your experience and find freedom. Whether you’re recovering from a difficult relationship or learning to protect your heart, this book offers practical tools and spiritual support to guide you every step of the way.

You’re not alone in this journey. With God’s grace and the right resources, you can break free and walk into peace and wholeness. Join my mailing list today and get Chapter 1 free—take the first step toward healing and hope.