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There are biblical guidelines for health relationships and they outline how God expects us to behave. When these guidelines are continuously broken, you should ask yourself the hard questions: Am I in a toxic relationship? Is my spouse abusive? And, am I bringing toxic tendencies to the relationship? Based on your answers, you will have clearer perspective to seek biblical counsel, therapy, and couples counseling to give your relationship a shot at being successful.
Toxic relationships rob us of our ability to focus on God and promoting his kingdom on this earth. You can begin evaluating your relationship by seeing if your relationship follows the standards for a Holy covenant:
- The relationship is between a man and a woman. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Genesis 2:24
- You love each other as Christ loved the Church. “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…” Ephesians 5:25
- There is honor and respect between spouses. “However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” Ephesians 5:33 “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.” 1 Peter 3:7
- Sex is not withheld nor is it forced upon a partner. “Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” 1 Corinthians 7:1-40
- There is Godly love and no abuse present. “Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.” Colossians 3:19 “In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” Ephesians 5:28
- Your partner wants to stay. “But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.” 1 Corinthians 7:15
- There is no cheating present. “But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery…” Matthew 5:32
- There is mutual submission. “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word…” Ephesians 5:22-33
Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 1 John 4:8
If your relationship misses the mark on these eight standards you should consider WISE BIBLICAL COUNSEL immediately. And if you have sought counsel already and tried everything to save your marriage then it’s important to consider that abuse is biblical grounds for divorce.
Prayer to fix bad relationships
Eternal father, bless our marriage. We are both broken and bring so many flaws to the table. I ask that you guide us each in the steps necessary to fix our broken relationship. I desire to try my best and show love father. Give me the strength and wisdom to prevent separation and divorce. Bring the right therapists, counselors, and role models in our lives, so that we can learn how to do healthy relationships. I pray that you search both of our hearts and help both of us to accept and fix what we bring to the table. I ask you papa that the effort to fix our marriage wouldn't be one-sided and we would both give our all. Strength us God and give us hope to see the fruit of long suffering and perseverance. I declare that we will see change. I declare supernatural grace in changing our bad behaviors. I declare a weeding out of inner pain and emotional baggage that hinders love. I thank you Lord because you can help us and I will submit to your leadership. Amen.
Related Article: 9 Powerful Prayers Against Divorce
Prayer to leave a toxic relationship
Abba father, I need your help more than ever to get out of this toxic relationship and let go. I am emotionally weary and my heart cannot take anymore. I have sought wise biblical counsel, individual counseling, and your word which is always true... yet my relationship suffers. I am sad that my relationship didn't get to blossom and model the love between Christ and the Church. So father, rid me of any shame and false responsibility that I may carry. I surrender my fear to you Abba and my confusion on the next steps to take. I ask that you give me strength to believe that you would provide for my household despite this division. I ask that you would show me how good you are despite the depth of anger, loneliness, and shame that I feel. Your word says that the righteous man can be at peace with their enemy. I declare your word to be true. I ask that my partner would not retaliate in revenge and punishment. I ask that you would shield me from their abusive words, actions, and plots. O' Lord, I ask that I don't loose sight of your goodness in this season of pain and trials. Help me to stay close to your heart. Help me to stay tender to the voice of the spirit. Open my eyes to your greater desire for our lives and help me to walk in step with your plan for bringing the kingdom of heaven to earth. I thank you that I am stronger because of this and I will help you champion emotional healing on this earth. Thank you for giving me divine strategy to heal and pursue global healing. I love and trust you Ababa. Amen.
Related Article: 12 Signs You’re in a Toxic Relationship
Prayer to move on from a toxic relationship
O' Lord, thank you for opening my eyes to what is happening in my relationship. Thank you for giving me biblical wisdom to decide how to move on from this toxic relationship. Father, I ask that you would rebuild within and around me what the enemy has destroyed. You are the God that gives beauty for ashes and I stand firm in your truth. You are the promise keeper that never goes back on your word and I patiently await your goodness. Thank you for fortifying my heart and my mind to protect me from the abuse directed towards me. Abba, search my heart and remove any bitterness, pain, anger, traumatic memories, and toxic self protections that separate me from your love. Help me to see the beauty in my past partner. But give me strength to hold my boundaries and do what is best for my emotional & spiritual health. Abba, it gets hard because of the judgements of the naysayers. They judge me for what they don't understand and it pains my heart. Help me to not harden my heart to anyone father. Vindicate me to my enemies. I trust you papa to strengthen me, so I don't have to prove my point to people that don't understand covert abuse. I declare that I'm going deeper in intimacy with you despite the enemies' intent to have this situation destroy me. I declare that my life will be lived in surrender to your leading and protection from future toxicity. Give me a heart father that will pray and believe that my partner will come into your truth eventually. I see your vision for worldwide salvation now papa. You desire for a bride of Christ to be whole and healed partners that bring goodness to the world. I declare your vision to be true God. I will continue to pray and rejoice with heaven for the returning day of my partner and the spouses of others all over world. They will return to you just as the prodigal son. I take delight in you God because you have a plan even though my relationship didn't work. Amen.
Related Article: An Empowering Letter To Women Healing from Emotional Abuse!
Prayer to find peace after a toxic relationship
Father, heal me and rebuild me after this trial. I have given my all to my relationship and now I am left empty and in need of love. Drench me in your peace O' Lord. Refill me with your joy of gladness. Revive my love for sharing the Gospel. Renew my self love that was stripped during the ongoing abuse. Help me father to see my purpose and inner gifting clearly. I ask that rivers of living water would flow through my mouth and refresh others in toxic relationships. You are for me God, so I know nothing can stand against me. I submit to my healing process and give you permission to expose, reveal, and align everything within me that falls short of your standard for holiness. I truly love you God and I desire to grow in intimacy with you all the days of my life. Amen.
Prayer to end toxic dating pattern
Abba, I submit my generational line to you and ask you to cleanse it. I ask that you reveal to me any generational patterns that I possess that is increasing my suffering in relationships. Father, reveal everyone that is around me that isn't for me, but is against me. I ask you for the strength to sever any ties that doesn't glorify your precious name. Surround me with people that are repentant at heart and want to grow. Search my heart O' Lord for any unrepentant ways and cleanse me of any wicked roots of sin. Lord, help me to date from a healthy and authentic place and remove any need for me to date from a broken and dysfunctional patterns. Cleanse me of codependence, unhealthy expectations, people pleasing, and pride. Open my eyes to the things unseen and guide me onto a path of peace, love, and joy. O' Lord I thank you for all that you are doing to bring stability and righteousness into my life and heart. I love you my precious father. Amen.