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Are you here because you and your spouse are on the brink of divorce? I’m sorry my sweet friend. The fact that you’re here confirms that you are a fighter and you desperately want God to move in your situation. Today, I felt an overwhelming burden to write this article to encourage YOU. Be aware, God wants to met you in your pain.
The truth is, couples bring in past emotional and relational baggage they don’t know how to let go off in marriage. As an empowerment coach, I often have a front row seat to my client’s inner turmoil and relational problems.
Also, as a prophetic dreamer, I have had the opportunity to see the enemies’ plan in the area of relationships. And it truly breaks my heart. In dreams and through discernment, God has revealed to me when husbands without boundaries develop feelings for others. Or I can discern when wives have unhealthy expectations which drive their husbands to feel inadequate. Also, I have been shocked by dreams revealing people in high places at church that struggle with abandonment, PRIDE, same sex attraction, rejection, people pleasing, and a victim’s mentality.
Ultimately, job titles, money, church status, and physical appearances don’t always tell the truth. Eventually, everyone’s inner struggles will come out in dangerous and damaging ways if they don’t know how to lay their burdens at the alter.
There are so many different factors that lead to a divorce: lack of intimacy, financial issues, hidden trauma, toxic behaviors, idolatry, depression, immaturity, cheating, etc. So, as you know, It is no surprise that marriage is hard work and involves putting up a spiritual fight to keep it.
But it takes two people to fight for a marriage. Of course God’s heart is pained over divorce, but he will not remove your partner’s free-will. Despite your prayers, your partner can still decide to pursue separation. So, my desire is for you to pray that your partner would also fight for your marriage OR that you’d trust God’s goodness even if your partner decides to give up.
Related Article: Divorce & the Goodness of God
Prayer to Keep God at the Center
When both spouses can repent daily and submit to the cleansing of the Holy spirit they can both develop a lifestyle that is pure enough to steward marriage. I’ve learned that the heart is weak to sin. We literally cannot even FORGIVE without the power of the Holy Spirit. We ALL need the power of the Holy Spirit to live healthy lives and steward a kingdom relationship.
Individually and as a team, couples should continuously ask God to reveal and revive their hearts to stay on the path of love and righteousness. Because “the heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? I, the LORD, search the heart…’ Jeremiah 17:9-10 Allow God to search and cleanse you. This will reveal the hidden things that seek to stifle your marriage from the inside out.
“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalm 139:23-24
Related Quizzes: 14 Quizzes to Reveal Unhealthy Areas in Your Heart
Abba, I acknowledge that my relationships would improve if I showed up as my healed and authentic self. I ask you to search my heart and remove any roots of pain, bitterness, un-forgiveness, traumatic memories, pride, and stubbornness. I give you full permission God to lead me in the way everlasting. I give you full permission papa to teach me how to have an intimate relationship with you. I believe true intimacy with you God is the first step in having a healthy marriage. I ask that my spouse would experience this same awareness. I ask that they too would allow you to search the depths of their heart for anything that would hinder love. Revive our passion for life, Godliness, and each other. I ask that you would help us both to be the virgins that didn't let their lamps stop burning. O' Father, I desire to partner with you and my spouse to promote your kingdom. Help us to keep you at the center of our finances, goals, decisions, and thoughts. Renew our passion for the Gospel. Help us to remember the vows we took before you and the baptism we made unto you. I love you and count all your ways righteous Lord. I thank you for the powerful move you're making over our lives now. You are revealing revelation, preparing mentors, and delivering biblical wisdom to our lives. We will hear you words and walk into your loving truth. Thank you father.
Prayer Against Weariness
O' Lord, I thank you for giving me a spouse and friend to spend my days on earth with. I thank you that you've been walking with us on this journey for the entire span of our marriage. I come to you grateful for the miracles and provision in my marriage in the past. You have proven to be faithful God. However, my heart is weary and tired from the obstacles that have come between me and my partner. It hurts father and I have little stamina left to keep running this race. Father, would you increase my strength? Would you give me and my partner the ability to run and not grow weary? I smile now as I remember that you are the promise keeper that never goes back on your word. If you said it then I can believe it. Abba, I will wait for you to renew our strength and we will honor you with our marriage all the days of our lives.
- He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:29-31
Related Article: 14 Tips to Stand Firm In Faith When You’re Tired!
Prayer for God’s Will in Marriage
Abba, I am in a relationship that deeply grieves my soul. I am not sure of the direction my spouse and I are going and I need your guidance, wisdom, and truth to manifest in my life. In your word, it says when the righteous cry out that you would speak to us and reveal wisdom which is hidden. So I declare your word to be true. I declare that you are an intimate God that will speak to me and instruct me in the way to go. You are the promise keeper and I rejoice because you never go back on your word. So, I open my ears and heart to hear and receive your wisdom God. Please reveal what is hidden in our marriage. Reveal our hearts and hidden desires. Please send me wise counsel and revelation to help us understand your highest desire for the direction of our marriage. Amen.
- If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. James 1:5
- The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. 2 Peter 3:9
Prayer for Emotional + Mental Healing
Eternal Father please expose any hidden emotional or mental health issues within my marriage and guide us on the path to healing. I ask you to heal any traces of un-forgiveness, depression, anxiety, victim mentality, pride, codependence, personality disorders, and other hindrances to having a sober mind. Father search our hearts and allow us to see every emotional and mental burden that we are not releasing to you. Expose to us the impurities of our hearts father and give us a divine burden to lay them down at your feet. I acknowledge that you are capable of the impossible God, so I acknowledge that healing the mind and heart is within your abilities. I ask that you would send the help needed for each of us to get the healing that we need. Father, help us to seek counseling, mentorship, and have accountability in our healing process. Help us to take personal responsibility for the negative things we brought to the marriage and guide us into changed behavior. I trust you to act God and I give you permission to lead me. Amen.
- He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3
- O Lord my God, I cried to you for help, and you have healed me. Psalm 30:2
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Prayer Against Unhealthy Expectations
Abba father, I need a miracle to save my marriage. I need your strength, guidance, love, and truth to guide me towards breakthrough. Help me to let go of my expectations for my spouse and my need for things to immediately change. I know that you will heal me and help us change the negative pattern in our relationship. O' Lord, help me to be strong and not emotionally dependent on my spouse. I ask that you highlight any idolatry in our marriage and codependent behaviors. I ask that we would look to you for our fulfillment, provision, and satisfaction. You are the source of life God and only you can quench our thirty souls. Help me to have the patience to believe your truths. I know that you care about every intimate detail of my life and I know you'll answer my cries. I love you father. Amen.
- Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life. John 4:13-14
Prayer for Communication + Intimacy
Abba can you intervene in my marriage to guide me and my spouse. Can you help us to understand each other? And can you open our ears and heart to hear what is left unsaid? Help us O' Lord to communicate in a way that makes our souls feel known, loved, and encouraged. I know that you are capable of the impossible God, so I declare that my marriage will be one with kind, open, and loving communication. I rejoice because I am trusting you for a marriage that is intimate physically, emotionally, and spiritually. However, I ask that you help us to develop deeper intimacy with you first. I know that when we are both in alignment and intimacy with you God it will manifest in our relationship and every area of our lives. Help us to be fiery hot believers and not lukewarm Christians. Intimacy begins with you and I ask you to help me to grow deeper in spiritual maturity and passion. And help us to love each other as Christ loved the church. Amen.
- Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips! Psalm 141:3
- A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion. Proverbs 18:2
- Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 1 Corinthians 7:5
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Prayer to Compromise
Abba, I thank you that you will guide me into all wisdom. Help me to love my spouse and put their purpose and passions at the top of my priority list. Remove any selfishness within me and manipulation or control. Father create a clean heart within me and help me to give you the control. I trust that you will help guide my spouse and I into decisions that are holy, fruitful, and mutually considerate. I want to love my partner like you love them. I want to be a companion that prays for my spouse and edifies them in the spirit. Father give me the strength to honor you with the way that I love my spouse. And I ask that I wouldn't be forgotten as I lay down my life. Teach me when to speak and when to follow your peace. Teach me to honor my opinion, while carrying a supernatural selflessness that ministers to my partner. I thank you for your patience in my life God. I trust you to do your wonderful work in our lives. Amen.
- And he answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.” Luke 10:27
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Prayer for Unsaved Spouse
Abba, thank you for my spouse and the time we've spent together. I ask that they would accept you Christ, but I put their salvation in your hands and I trust you to work it out. If they don't go to church, I will not focus on their behavior, but I will continue to grow in you. I desire to have strong faith father and I need your strength to continue in righteousness. Help me to choose kindness, love, peace, joy, and forgiveness when I have difficult conversations with my partner. However, help me to fill my house and words with the fragrance of prayer and the character of Jesus. I ask that every principality and stronghold would break due to the authority that I carry. Help me to seek your strength to keep loving my partner with passion and purity. And continue to build my character Lord, so that my partner can be won over by the beauty of my life and love for you. Amen.
- Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives 1 Peter 3:1
- If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. 1 Corinthians 7:13
Prayer for Provision
O' Lord, you know what what we need. I ask that you would help us to trust you for finances and stability. You said you clothe the lilies and provide for the birds, so I trust you to provide all that my family needs. Thank you that you are very near to our issues and you will make a way despite the lack that we currently see. Please give us creative ways to save, budget, and pave paths for abundance. I declare our family to be lenders and not borrowers. I thank you that we are cheerful givers, tithers, and ones that faithfully steward the blessing of the Lord. And I ask that you search our hearts lord for any love of money and remove the idolatry of physical things. Thank you for establishing a clean heart within us that can be content with what we need rather than want. We look to you father and acknowledge that you'll never leave us or forsake us. Amen.
- Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you. Hebrews 13:5
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