In the movies, we often see men doing the romance stuff to demonstrate an overwhelming love for their woman. As a result, I feel there is an expectation for men to be the main romantic in relationships.
This past Valentine’s Day, I spoke with a male friend that complained of this issue. He was planning an intimate dinner with lights and flowers on his apartments balcony — yes, he was going to cook as well! He even dropped the baby off at the in-laws. He thought of all the details. He was excited… But, he leaked a bit of negative information…
He said, “You know… I would like someone to do this for me as well. Why is Valentine’s Day mostly for females?”
I know all women don’t expect such treatment in relationships but his comment had a lot of truth to it. I often hear woman complain about the lack of romance their man brings to the table and their expectation for him to take care of romance as payment for all the things they do on a regular basis.
I’ve heard more than a couple women say that after washing clothes, cooking food, and etc. all year long… The least their man could do is give romance as a token of appreciation.
Related Article: What is Love? What Does Love Feel Like?
Call me crazy, but I don’t think romantic gestures are a payment nor are they a requirement in a relationship. I also think that if we aren’t being romantic we can’t be mad that our partner isn’t either. I believe romance is a selfless and spontaneous expressions of our love for our partner.
Love is Selfless. Selfless women are concerned more with the needs and wishes of another person rather than with one’s own; unselfish.
Romance should be given to make your partner feel special — Just because you love them.
Ultimately, both Men & Women want to be loved spontaneously and appreciated. They want to be desired for WHO they are and not WHAT they have done. They both want to be romanced and to enjoy the intoxicating feeling that comes with being put on a pedestal.
As women, we can teach our partners that romance is exciting by doing romantic gestures for them. Don’t expect him to feel confident doing it… If you don’t! Write him little notes and leave it in places he’ll find it. Take him on a date to his favorite restaurant. Cook his favorite meal and watch his favorite movie with him. Married ladies — put on that lingerie and make him that special dessert ;). Buy that thing he’s been going on and on about… Ultimately, you know what your man likes and should brighten up his day with that!
We as women are not allowed to claim all romantic holidays because he did not romance us on other days. We are also not allowed to think only men should be the romancer!
If it’s hard to do romantic things for your man because of pain in your heart… Express your feelings via journaling, counseling, or talking to your man. Feelings are not bad.. it’s what you do with them that can be bad. IN KINDNESS (No one wants to listen to a mean nag!) — Tell him how you want to be loved. Tell him you feel that he leaves everything in the house for you to do. Tell him you need a partner, a lover, and a friend. Tell him you want flowers, or a fancy dinner… The biggest solution is to communicate! Do not expect him to know that you feel unloved.
The solutions and/or issues outlined may be different in your relationship… But, the main focus is that you and your man deserve to be romanced. You both deserve to feel like you are special, sexy, and loved.
Related Article: What is Love? What Does Love Feel Like?
Don’t forget to communicate with your partner about your desire for romance.
Then do something about it! Share your part of the load in the romance department.
Love is beautiful and can stay that way… If you keep the flame burning through loving and supporting your partner as best as you can each day!
How To Romance A Man
- Keep your heart naked. Don’t cover your heart with pain, anger, selfishness, pride, etc. Be sure to get the healing you need so your heart can stay naked – vulnerable and open. Vulnerability is one of the SEXIEST things you can offer to ANYONE. The offering of one’s naked body in sex is symbolic of what should be happening internally when we offer our men love.
- Give Selflessly. Remember to love him for WHO he is and not what HE has done. This will help you to do kind things even when he’s getting on your nerves, lol. Remember, romance is about making someone else happy for the sake of LOVE not to receive anything in return.
- Don’t withhold love as a punishment. If your husband isn’t doing something right, don’t punish him by removing your affections… That’s passive-aggressive.
- Give what you want to receive! You can set the tone for romance by teaching him how you want to be treated. Treat him like a King and he might just treat you like a Queen ;)!
- Communicate. Don’t expect your husband to know what you want or how you feel. Learn to vocalize your needs.
- Expectations. Avoid Unhealthy Romantic Expectations.
- Counseling. If there is an issue going on that communication isn’t solving… Get professional help. Don’t wait till love has run cold. Though, it’s never too late to get expert advice.
- Plan special date nights. Here is a list of 50 date nights idea! However, EVERY man is different… Get to know him and what he’d like. Questioning him is an idea to navigate this area!
- Buy him a gift! Here are 11 romantic gifts for men: 7 ROMANTIC GIFTS FOR MEN WHO HAVE EVERYTHING!
