I am generally a very flexible, kind, and forgiving person, and I take pride in being able to let go of the little things. However, there are times when I struggle with increased irritation, condescending thoughts, and impatience, and I find it difficult to let go of certain things.
“The more stress you accumulate, the heavier it becomes. If you accumulate too much, the weight of carrying it can break you.” — Oscar Auliq-Ice
Why does everything bother me?
Do you often feel like everything in your life is spiraling out of control? Are you constantly striving for a perfectly quiet and clean environment, or do you hold others to impossibly high standards? This may be your way of trying to maintain order and create a sense of security in the world, albeit a false one.
When our emotional well-being starts to decline, we tend to lash out in various ways. Subconsciously, we may believe that if everyone adheres to our rulebook and meets our expectations, we will finally find peace and safety. Of course, your situation and core feelings may differ, but understanding the root of the issue will help you become less easily irritated and bothered.
If we allow these negative emotions to accumulate and fester, we may develop a sensitivities to stimuli, dislike for others or excessively criticize them. Therefore, as you read this article, I encourage you to delve into your inner world and uncover any hidden aspects within yourself. By releasing any negative and trapped emotions, you can create space for positivity to flourish.
1. Expect the Best
Approach situations with a positive mindset and anticipate positive outcomes. By expecting the best, you are more likely to attract positive experiences and reduce the impact of potential irritations.
2. Shift Your Focus
Instead of dwelling on the negative aspects or things that bother you, consciously redirect your attention to more positive and uplifting thoughts. Train your mind to focus on solutions, growth, and gratitude, rather than getting caught up in negativity.
3. Create a New Narrative
To create a new narrative, challenge negative thought patterns and reframe situations in a more positive light. Empower yourself with a different perspective to let go of irritations and approach challenges constructively.
For instance, let’s say you find someone’s behavior annoying, and you assume they have bad intentions. Instead, give them the benefit of the doubt and choose to see them in a positive light. This shift in perspective allows you to focus on addressing the specific behavior that is bothersome, rather than attributing it to the person themselves. By separating the behavior from the person, you can change the narrative and find more effective ways to address the situation without letting it impact you negatively.
4. Limit the Main Irritants in Your Life
Identify the main sources of irritation in your life and take proactive steps to limit or minimize their impact. This could involve setting boundaries, distancing yourself from toxic relationships, or making changes in your environment or routines to reduce exposure to triggers.
5. Practice Gratitude
Cultivate a habit of recognizing and appreciating the positive aspects of your life. Regularly express gratitude for the things you have, the experiences you enjoy, and the people who bring joy into your life. Focusing on gratitude can shift your perspective and help you maintain a more positive outlook, making minor irritations seem less significant.
Introspection is a valuable tool for understanding why you may be easily irritated. It’s possible that your quick irritability stems from some form of pain, trauma, or unresolved issue that needs healing. Your body is signaling that something is amiss, and it’s important to pay attention to those signals.
One effective method to identify the moments that cause pain is through journaling and writing down your negative emotions. By doing so, you can develop a greater awareness of your emotions and explore them earlier, before they become overwhelming.
During my own introspection, I discovered that I often feel triggered when others fail to understand me. I used to become easily irritated when someone took a long time to grasp what I was saying. However, I’ve come to realize that someone needing more information to understand doesn’t necessarily mean that they don’t understand me. It simply means that they require additional details to comprehend my unique thoughts and circumstances.
By understanding the underlying drivers of your emotions, you can gain valuable insights into what specifically triggers your irritability. This self-awareness allows you to approach these situations with greater understanding and empathy, fostering healthier interactions and emotional well-being.
You may not be able to do this alone. If so, invite a friend or a therapist to help you sift through your emotions. Or, you can sign up for 20 minutes of Empowerment Coaching, so I can help you through this! Remember, your negative emotions are telling you that your mental health needs some attention — quickly!
Also, here are 30 Journal Prompts to help you explore your emotions!
7. Create Emotional Boundaries
Establishing and maintaining emotional boundaries is crucial for your well-being. If you constantly find yourself giving more emotionally and physically than you receive in return, you’re likely to experience burnout. It’s important to recognize when you’re in situations where you’re doing everything for others while neglecting your own needs.
If this resonates with you, rest assured that you’re not alone. I can relate to being a people pleaser and devoting most of my time and energy to others. The discomfort of seeing others unhappy or sad often drives me to try and make them feel better, sometimes at the expense of my own boundaries.
However, it’s vital to remember that it’s your responsibility to establish and uphold boundaries in your life. Carving out time for fun, self-care, and self-discovery is not only important but necessary. Just like me, you deserve to have dedicated time and space for yourself. Prioritizing your own well-being allows you to recharge, replenish your energy, and live a more balanced and fulfilling life.
8. Recharge Yourself
Compassion Fatigue is a real phenomenon that occurs when you’ve exhausted all your empathy and feel drained from caring too much.
Imagine deeply caring for others while your own needs are neglected. This imbalance often leads to feeling like a victim, harboring resentment towards those you’ve helped, and experiencing a sense of loneliness.
To prevent compassion fatigue, it’s vital to cultivate relationships and friendships where others show compassion for you and consider your feelings too. Creating a supportive network ensures that your emotional needs are acknowledged, fostering a healthier balance in caregiving dynamics.
9. Reduce Responsibilities
It’s important to avoid taking on too many responsibilities.
Are you neglecting your own list of responsibilities in favor of constantly helping others? Do you find yourself spreading yourself too thin? Sometimes we set incredibly high expectations for ourselves and treat ourselves as if we’re superhumans capable of doing it all.
Is your list of responsibilities becoming overwhelming and seemingly never-ending? Have you taken the time to clean, practice self-care, laugh, and work towards your own dreams recently? If not, it’s crucial to make it a priority and consider canceling some of the tasks you’ve taken on for others. Remember to prioritize your own well-being and ensure that you have the time and energy to take care of yourself.
"The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others!" Sonya Friedman
10. Vocalize Your Needs
If someone’s behavior is starting to annoy you, it’s likely not a sudden occurrence. The agitation you feel is your body’s way of communicating with you. It’s a sign that something is amiss and needs attention. Negative emotions serve as an alarm.
Consider whether it’s time to have a conversation with your loved one about how they can support and love you better. Open communication may lead to resolution or compromise. However, it’s important to sort through your emotions beforehand to ensure you’re not reacting or projecting your own emotions and fears onto others. Take the time to reflect and approach the conversation with clarity and understanding.
11. Lower Expectations!
What unrealistic expectation do you have? And are you communicating them properly?
In my life, I have a deep need to feel understood. Sometimes, I expect people to read my mind and know what I need. But, we can’t just expect without communicating. When we let people know what we need to feel loved then they can take more steps to add joy to our lives rather than frustrations.
Related Quiz: Do you feel misunderstood?
12. Show yourself some Self-Love!
Often times, I’m so busy worrying about everyone else that I don’t even know how to make myself happy. Are you similar? Are you constantly worrying about how people feel and making sure they’re comfortable? I know you’re amazing at loving others, BUT you’re probably operating from an empty love.
IT is not my responsibility to make people feel better. A hyper focus on the feelings of others isn’t kindness it’s self neglect and codependence.
I’m a recovering codependent that puts people before myself. I’m learning that ONLY God can permanently fix people. I can steer them into the right direction, but they have to put in the hard-work by themselves. So Sis’, should be take a step back from control and let the universe guide the outcome? I think yes! Your life will feel lighter and you’ll have more room to love YOURSELF.
13. You gotta forgive!
Do you need or forgive anyone? Or do you need to forgive yourself?
You can figure out where the pain is by keeping track of your memories. What past memories keep popping up? What current situations are similar to past memories? Who was the bad guy in the memory (you or them)?
You may need to forgive whoever is the bad guy in the memory. Un-forgiveness causes bitterness inside. If the bitterness is not healed it will spread like a deadly disease. First it hurts your heart, brain, body… Then, it starts to come out of your mouth and hurt others. So, forgive yourself or them… Quickly.
14. People are different.
Try to respect that everyone is different. You may be very quick to think, act, and decided. But maybe others are not? Try to respect that people understand and process information at different speeds. Give people time and try to practice patience.
You may have a special talent that others don’t have. Often times people with the inner power of wisdom get annoyed with people that are not able to see the world as themselves. Try not to judge them for what they lack. Consider that you may be in this world to help others in this area?
Related QUIZ: What is your inner power?
“We tend to get irritated when we see somebody doing something that is unusual and unfamiliar to our thinking.” ― Sunday Adelaja
15. Your body needs to grieve.
If you don’t go through the full cycle of healing it will ALWAYS manifests in multiple ways.
If you can’t see where you fall on any of these categories, I would suggest speaking with someone to help you identify what are the unique things that are causing you pain. Remember, I can help you if you sign up for 20 minutes of Empowerment Coaching!