10 Steps to Get Over A Breakup & Remove Painful Memories

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10 Steps to Get Over A Breakup & Remove Painful Memories

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Looking for steps and tips on how to get over a breakup? Luckily, I have been through this process and I’d like to share what has worked for me. I’ve had to forgive multiple times and learn emotional discipline to continue living while I have been falling apart on the inside.

I had a terrible pattern of dating narcissists, cheaters, and emotionally abusive men. I realized I was dating them because I was unhealed.

Related QUIZ: Why are you attracting the wrong men?

You can do it too!

  1. Emotional Discipline. Can you push pass the pain to stay positive, focused, productive, and hopeful? Staying stuck in your emotions will continue the negative spiral for longer.
  2. Forgive. Forgive them and yourself, or whomever else.
  3. Allow yourself to feel.
  4. Accept the truth. What did he do wrong? What did you do wrong? What did you both do right? What could have made the situation better?
  5. Stay full of hope. Be aware that there will be brighter days and more options.
  6. Ask God to heal you.
  7. Get a hobby and focused on your DREAMS!
  8. Do some self-healing so you don’t repeat the pattern.
  9. Grow in self-love so you don’t need a man to feel happy and loved!
  10. Learn how to prepare yourself for the right man!
Free empowerment coaching to help you go deeper spiritually and achieve your goals.

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How To Get Over a Breakup When You Still Love Them:

The truth is it will take time. It’s going to be a slow process and you can’t rush it. Getting over someone you love shouldn’t be easy… Or, you didn’t truly love them.

It will take time and it may not be easy… But, you have to channel your pain. I created this website to help women. That’s how I channeled the pain of my heartbreaks… By helping you avoid the same pitfalls.

Read Article: An Empowering Letter To Women Healing from Emotional Abuse!

Here is a journal of me processing heart break:

I know what the right thing to do is — forgive him. But, he hurt me. I forgave him the first time. Then, I forgave him again the second time. It seems that all I have been doing is forgiving.

He doesn’t deserve my love… I tell myself. Then, I remember that I’m better than that. I pull myself together. Then, a memory races through my mind. The memory stabs my heart. I weep at the thought of the moment he hurt me.

I realized that my heart is a landmine. Each memory sets off a bomb of painful emotions. (Related Post: An Empowering Letter To Victims of Emotional Abuse!)

It seems that I start the entire cycle all over again – maybe for the 20th time. I forgive. I remember. I rage. I pray. I forgive. But, the memories are still there and I keep remembering.

For a moment, I forgot that only God can help me. I forget so quickly that God is a good father.

I breathe in and then I breathe out. I speak to myself, “Christina, you have been healed of painful emotions and memories before. You believe that God can do it.”

Related Article: Download The Heart Detox: A FREE E-book to help you Release Emotional Stress & Pain!

I realize that all I can do is pray — Lord, please take these painful memories away.

I continue my prayer: Thank you for all the times that you have healed me of painful emotions and memories. Without that healing, I would have never been able to move on and love people well. You keep my heart and emotions pure Lord. Thank you. I pray that you heal my heart and all your little ones’. Then, we can Let our hearts shine bright for you!

After prayer, I’m still in pain but I decide to wait. Wait for the Lord to do his work in me. I will not continue to think of revenge. I will not continue to think of ways to punish him. I will not let my hurt cause me to hurt him nor anyone else. I will surrender my thoughts to the Lord and wait for his healing power to work in my heart.

Related Article: The Single Girl’s Guide For Finding Real Love

Though I feel pain… I will not let it dim the light that my heart brings into this world. I refuse to let the world’s darkness pollute my heart.

Jesus felt every negative emotion that I’m feeling right now. [He] understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. (Hebrews 4:15)

So, I will imitate my father. I will not sin. I will win this test victoriously and my light will shine for the one whom hurt me to see. He will be impacted by the light of God.

Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. Matthew 5:15-16

After doing the first step of healing — being vulnerable and fully open to God. I then ask for his help. I pray that just as I have grown in this situation… That he would also grow in reverence for God and me. Please help me to allow you to remove or keep those that you want in my life. I pray that he would take his word choices and actions seriously; That he would also bring light and not darkness to the world.

Jesus, help him to see the impact he has on me and the world clearly.

Christina Daniels is the founder of Adorned Heart. She is devoted to learning about human behavior and its affects on society. She received a B.A. in Psychology and M.A. in Public Policy. She hopes to use her life and academic experience to empower & heal the hearts of women!

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