It is impossible to have a real relationship with someone that is selfish and jealous. Individuals that struggle with selfishness and jealousy have so much pain in their hearts that they can’t support nor love you in the way you deserve.
Often times, selfish and jealous friends are labeled as fake friends eventually. Why? Because, when misunderstandings or problems happen it reveals all the darkness that they had hiding within them. They may think very negatively of you, be plotting behind your back, gossiping, and using you to fill all their emotional emptiness like a leech.
Friends that are jealous and selfish are hard to detect because they are usually master manipulators and liars. Always pray that God would remove fake friends from your life. They will do and say what is necessary to make you believe that they’re on your side. Be careful of them retaliating against you when you no longer give them what they need OR they realize you can see right through them.
“Over a small misunderstanding God will expose how people really feel about you…” ― Gugu Mofokeng
Why do I attract selfish and jealous friends?
You may be the type of person that wants everyone to feel good and be great. Do you give all of yourself even if someone isn’t returning the same effort? If yes, you may be a people pleaser, enabler, and codependent. And you probably LOVE people and genuinely think about others more than yourself. It makes perfect sense why selfish and jealous friends are attracted to you. You make them feel safe and loved.
Selfish individuals have a deep amount of pain and emptiness within their heart. Therefore, the selfish individual Is only thinking about themselves and how to get their needs met or their emptiness filled. They may have a need to feel safe, love, heard, and comforted. Selfish friends love people who will give them everything they need without being required to give anything in return.
A jealous friend is also empty. When other people possess what the jealous friend wants, it triggers them and causes them alot of pain. The jealous friend is usually insecure and feels that the world is unfair. They may think you have things that you don’t deserve. They may also think you’re selfish for not giving them what you have because you have more than them.
Selfish and jealous friends are often operating in victim mentality. They both think that the world is unfair and they will always be in pain. Selfish and jealous people tend to believe they have to fight dirty to get what they need. Therefore, these individuals befriend others that they can manipulate and control to get what they want.
“Some people are like clouds once they disappear it’s a beautiful day.”
Definition of Selfish and Jealous
Selfish means “lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure.” While Jealous means “feeling or showing envy of someone or their achievements and advantages.”
10 Signs Of a Selfish Friend
- Selfish people usually accuse everyone else of being selfish
- Selfish friends don’t encourage you or compliment you, and mostly give negative feedback
- They keep tabs on everyone to make sure everything is equal and they’re not giving too much
- Selfish friends have a hard time understanding the fact that your life doesn’t revolve around them
- They’re jealous when you spend time away from them or receive anything they want
- They are inconsiderate and can’t understand how they hurt you
- A Selfish friend doesn’t think about how you’re doing nor do they ask
- Selfish friends will not listen to your opinions, ask questions, nor try to understand
- A selfish friend will lie, manipulate, and act fake nice to control you and get what they want
- Selfish friends don’t respect your boundaries, the word NO, and they believe your time belongs to them
Related Article: Avoid Unhealthy Friends with 6 Levels of Friendships + Quotes
How do you know a friend is jealous of you?
It is clear a friend is jealous of you when they are not confident in themselves and you are living the life they want. Do you both have similar goals and dreams? Are you more successful in doing what you dream of? Do you have more friends and people to support and love you? These are all formulas for a jealous friend. The jealous friend is too busy comparing your life to theirs… They can’t see that you worked hard for every relationships and everything you possess. They should be working as hard as you to make all their dreams come true.
Quotes About Selfish Friends
1. “Real friends don’t throw shade. They encourage. They know your insecurities and inspire you to evolve through kindness, love, and patience.” – Christina Daniels
2. “Toxic people project their own character defects onto their victims. They do this by accusing the victim of the exact actions they themselves do but deny.” ―Shannon Thomas
3. “The only difference between a hero and the villain is that the villain chooses to use that power in a way that is selfish and hurts other people.” ― Chadwick Boseman
4. “Look around you at the people you spend the most time with and realize that your life can’t rise any higher than your friendships.” ― Mandy Hale
5. “Love does not dwell on how much one receives in return. If there is ever any balance in love, it is in a contest of who can love who more.” ― Criss Jami, Killosophy
6. “Selfish people are, by definition, Those whose activities are devoted to bringing themselves happiness. Yet. . . these selfish people are far less likely to be happy than those whose efforts are devoted to making others happy.” ― Bernard Rimland
7. “They don’t want to do anything for you, but they want you to do a lot for them.” ― Vikrant Bhingardive
8. “If you want to be a generous giver, you have to watch out for selfish takers.” ― Adam Grant
9. “Foolish, selfish people are always thinking of themselves and the result is always negative. Wise persons think of others, helping them as much as they can, and the result is happiness. Love and compassion are beneficial both for you and others. Through your kindness to others, your mind and heart will open to peace.” ― Dalai Lama
10. “There should never be a time you make time for people who waste your time.” ― Carlos Wallace
11. “Almost every sinful action ever committed can be traced back to a selfish motive. It is a trait we hate in other people but justify in ourselves.” ― Stephen Kendrick
Related Article: Am I A Toxic Friend?
12. “If he doesn’t follow through with actions, he’s either selfish or a liar. Neither makes him sound like The One, does it?” ― Matthew Hussey
13. “Selfish persons are incapable of loving others, but they are not capable of loving themselves either.”― Erich Fromm
14. “It’s also selfish because it makes you feel good when you help others. I’ve been helped by acts of kindness from strangers. That’s why we’re here, after all, to help others.” ― Carol Burnett
15. “In almost every marriage there is a selfish and an unselfish partner. A pattern is set up and soon becomes inflexible, of one person always making the demands and one person always giving way.” ― Iris Murdoch
16. “Don’t sacrifice yourself too much, because if you sacrifice too much there’s nothing else you can give and nobody will care for you.” ― Karl Lagerfeld
17. “Generally speaking, the most miserable people I know are those who are obsessed with themselves; the happiest people I know are those who lose themselves in the service of others…By and large, I have come to see that if we complain about life, it is because we are thinking only of ourselves.” ― Gordon B. Hinckley
18. “Selfish people also tend to have victim mindsets… Their actions plant seeds of loneliness; then they cry upon the blooming.” ― Steve Maraboli
19. “It’s hard to get people to overcome the thought that they have to take care of themselves first. It’s hard to get players to give in to the group and become selfless as opposed to selfish.” ― Isaiah Thomas
20. “The world is not fair, and often fools, cowards, liars and the selfish hide in high places.” ― Bryant H. McGill
21. “A man is called selfish not for pursuing his own good, but for neglecting his neighbor’s.” ― Richard Whately
22. “What you love is your own love. It’s not love, it’s selfishness. It’s not me you think of, but what you feel about me.” ― John Fowles, The Collector
23. “Selfishness comes from poverty in the heart, from the belief that love is not abundant.” ― Don Miguel Ruiz
24. “A person is called selfish, not for pursuing his or her own good, but for neglecting his or her neighbor’s.” ― Richard Whatly
25. “Stay away from lazy parasites, Who perch on you just to satisfy their needs, They do not come to alleviate your burdens, Hence, Their mission is to distract, Detract and extract, And make you live in abject poverty.” ― Michael Bassey Johnson
26. “Moral evil is the immorality and pain and suffering and tragedy that come because we choose to be selfish, arrogant, uncaring, hateful and abusive.” ― Lee Strobel
27. “It is not because the truth is too difficult to see that we make mistakes… we make mistakes because the easiest and most comfortable course for us is to seek insight where it accords with our emotions – especially selfish ones.” ― Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
28. Funny Quote: “If there is one thing I dislike, it is the man who tries to air his grievances when I wish to air mine.” – P.G. Wodehouse
29. “I’m selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I’m out of control, and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” ― Marilyn Monroe
30. “Here I am going to say something which may come as a bit of a shock. God doesn’t necessarily want us to be happy. He wants us to be lovable. Worthy of love. Able to be loved by Him. We don’t start off being all that lovable, if we’re honest. What makes people hard to love? Isn’t it what is commonly called selfishness? Selfish people are hard to love because so little love comes out of them.” ― William Nicholson, Shadowlands
31. You’re either selfish, or you’re a servant…but fundamentally selfish people are terrible friends, terrible lovers, terrible spouses, terrible Christians, terrible parents. They leave a terrible legacy. Will you be selfish? Will you be a servant?…A good marriage is a servant and a servant. Mark Driscoll
32. “But never again use another person’s body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilling yearnings.” ― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love
Related Article: Avoid Unhealthy Friends with 6 Levels of Friendships + Quotes
Fake Friends Quotes
33. People don’t change. They just take their masks off.
34. “Are your friends TRULY your friends? If you didn’t have what you have, or do the things that you do for them, would you still have all of your so-called friends? Do they like you for YOU, or do they like what you can offer them? It’s time to be honest with yourself and face your truth. Fake friendships aren’t welcome here!” ― Stephanie Lahart
35. “Share your weaknesses. Share your hard moments. Share your real side. It’ll either scare away every fake person in your life or it will inspire them to finally let go of that mirage called “perfection,” which will open the doors to the most important relationships you’ll ever be a part of.” ― Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing
36. “What a desperate, pathetic fool I was. Time after time, my “friends” had shown me their true colors. Yet, I still wanted to believe they were sorry for causing me pain. p. 128” ― Jodee Blanco, Please Stop Laughing at Me… One Woman’s Inspirational Story
37. “Fake friends are like shadows: always near you at your brightest moments, but nowhere to be seen at your darkest hour True friends are like stars, you don’t always see them but they are always there.” ― Habeeb Akande
38. “Fake friends; those who only drill holes under your boat to get it leaking; those who discredit your ambitions and those who pretend they love you, but behind their backs they know they are in to destroy your legacies.” ― Israelmore Ayivor, Shaping the dream
39. “When you see the genuine, you don’t deal with the fakes anymore.” ― Nima davani
40. “Sometimes your dearest friend whom you reveal most of your secrets to becomes so deadly and unfriendly without knowing that they were not really your friend.” ― Michael Bassey Johnson
Related Article: Am I A Toxic Friend?
41. “Being too nice is a crime today. Fake friends are every where around you. they will use you and when you are of no use, throw you away like a wrapper.” ― Shizra
42. “A genuine enemy is more useful than a fake friend.” ― Mokokoma Mokhonoana
43. “Whatever you do in life, make it matter. Along the way, you will discover that not everyone is on your side.” ― Carlos Wallace, Life Is Not Complicated
44. “Friends do not cast shade in order to shine. Remember that. I used to put up with my closest friends throwing shade all the time, because, I WANTED THEM TO SHINE. But then I learned that when you give other people the space to shine at your own expense, you’re slowly committing suicide. True friends mutually desire the other to shine without the need to cast shade or throw the other under a bus.” ― C. JoyBell C.
45. “What does it mean to “cast shade” on your friend? It’s when you try to spot their weaknesses, shortcomings or insecurities in any given situation in order to act in the more favourable or popular way, so that you can shine in the eyes of others. Example: Your friend is under sudden, aggressive criticism; instead of helping her out of it, you throw her under the bus by siding with her critics. Another example: your friend has social anxiety; you spot this as an opportunity to be “the fun one” and deliberately, maliciously try to be outgoing and joyful even when you’re not genuinely feeling that way. Outshining someone by virtue of deliberate comparison to their vulnerable spots: that is casting shade.” ― C. JoyBell C.
46. “Make no mistake about it, people who say they love you but cannot be happy for your success do not love you.” ― Germany Kent
47. “A true friend makes your problem their problem.” ― Mokokoma Mokhonoana
48. “We never lose friends, fake ones are exposed.” ― Carlos Wallace
49. “Over a small misunderstanding God will expose how people really feel about you…” ― Gugu Mofokeng
50. “A storyteller makes up things to help other people; a liar makes up things to help himself.” ― Daniel Wallace,The Kings and Queens of Roam
Jealous Friends Quotes
51. “Comparison is the thief of joy.” ― Theodore Roosevelt
52. “People hate those who make them feel their own inferiority.” ― Lord Chesterfield
53. “Never hate jealous people. They are jealous because they think you are better than them.” ― Paulo Coelho
54. “A wise man is content with his lot, whatever it may be, without wishing for what he has not.” ― Seneca
55. “The fastest way to lose friends and alienate people is to get better and improve yourself.” ― Life Math Money
56. “Jealousy is a terrible disease…Get well soon!” ― Urban Saying
57. “They wanna see you do good, but never better than them, Remember that.
58. “Don’t worry about those who talk behind your back, They’re behind you fo r a reason.”
59. “Friends don't get jealous of each other or begrudge the other for finding success. They celebrate every victory together.” — Karen Kingsbury
60. “If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.” — Mother Teresa
61. “Having a jealous friend is like having a bad habit.” ― Urban Saying
62. “Once they stop talking to you, they start talking about you.”
Inconsiderate Friends Quotes
63. “None are so inconsiderate as those who demand nothing of life other than their own personal comfort.” ― Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach
64. “Keep in mind, hurting people often hurt other people as a result of their own pain. If somebody is rude and inconsiderate, you can almost be certain that they have some unresolved issues inside. They have some major problems, anger, resentment, or some heartache they are trying to cope with or overcome.” ― Joel Osteen
65. “Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.” ― Martin Luther King, Jr.
66. “If I am inconsiderate about the comfort of others, or their feelings, or even of their little weaknesses; if I am careless about their little hurts and miss opportunities to smooth their way; if I make the sweet running of household wheels more difficult to accomplish, then I know nothing of Calvary love.” ― Amy Carmichael
67. “Always thinks of the other; ego thinks only of oneself. Love is always considerate; ego is absolutely inconsiderate. Ego has only one language and that is of self. Ego always uses the other; love is ready to be used, love is ready to serve.” ― Philip Toshio Sudo
68. “We are all born rude. No infant has ever appeared yet with the grace to understand how inconsiderate it is to disturb others in the middle of the night.” ― Judith Martin
69. “If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.” ― Mother Teresa
Cut Off Fake Friends Quote
70. “Keeping bad company is like being in a germ-infested area. You never know what you’ll catch.” ― Frank Sonnenberg
71. “Fake friends get mad when we don’t pretend to like them.“ ― Carlos Wallace
72. “Your healing will begin the moment you realize who you need to distance yourself from.” ― r. m. drake
73. “No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow.” ― Alice Walker
74. “Sometimes in life, you have to make a selfish decision and do what’s best for you.” ― Saquon Barkley
75. “I no longer look for the good in people, I search for the real… because while good is often dressed in fake clothing, real is naked and proud no matter the scars.” ― Chishala Lishomwa
76. “Toxic relationships are dangerous to your health; they will literally kill you. Stress shortens your lifespan. Even a broken heart can kill you. There is an undeniable mind-body connection. Your arguments and hateful talk can land you in the emergency room or in the morgue. You were not meant to live in a fever of anxiety; screaming yourself hoarse in a frenzy of dreadful, panicked fight-or-flight that leaves you exhausted and numb with grief. You were not meant to live like animals tearing one another to shreds. Don’t turn your hair gray. Don’t carve a roadmap of pain into the sweet wrinkles on your face. Don’t lay in the quiet with your heart pounding like a trapped, frightened creature. For your own precious and beautiful life, and for those around you — seek help or get out before it is too late. This is your wake-up call!” ― Bryant McGill
77. “I don’t have time for distractions and lies.” Pastor Sarah Jakes Roberts
78. Say goodbye to jealous, selfish, and fake friends.
79. Hold a funeral for all the fake friends you’re no longer being a doormat for.
80. “If you’re gonna be in my life you’re gonna have to come correct.” ―Pastor Sarah Jakes Roberts
81. “If they refuse to heal then they have no place in your life.” ― Christina J. Daniels
82. “A selfish friend invites you into their maze of painful emotions and then traps you there.” ― Christina J. Daniels
83. If they can't apologize and admit what they did wrong, they will do it again. ― Christina J. Daniels
Related Article: Am I A Toxic Friend?
84. An emotional leech is addicted to what makes you special. Find the spot they’ve latched on to and remove them before they suck out your joy, faith, strength, and/or courage. ― Christina J. Daniels
Who is a selfish friend? A selfish friend is someone that wants you all to themselves and thinks mostly about their own interests. The selfish friend often preys on overly giving people pleasers that will give them everything the desire without an argument.
How can you identify a user friend? You will fear saying no and you will feel like you are walking on eggshells with a user friend. If a user doesn’t get what they want they will think negatively of you and paint you as the bad guy.
What are the traits of a selfish person? A selfish person feels that they are a victim and everyone is trying to pull a fast one on them. The selfish person is so focused on feeling good, making people fill their needs, and not being used that they USE everyone else.
What are examples of selfishness? An example of selfishness is a friends inability to understand your point of view. You may explain to them why you can’t do something and they just can’t understand. Selfishness to the extreme will cause them to argue with you and make you see it their way. Their opinion is the only one that is right and they’ll make you feel like the selfish one for saying NO.
What is a good quote for fake friends? This quote demonstrates that God will give you the opportunity to see everyone’s true colors. “Over a small misunderstanding God will expose how people really feel about you…” ― Gugu Mofokeng
Why does my friend copy everything I do? Your friend copies you because they admire you. They believe that who you are is the perfect way to show up in the world. They struggle with deep insecurity and low self-esteem. They may or may not be jealous, but they haven’t developed their own identity and sense of self.
Why am I jealous of my friend having other friends? You are jealous because you don’t realize that you are irreplaceable. We tend to get jealous because we think that person will replace us and we will be left without a friend. The truth is, you need to focus on making other friends and learning that everyone is unique and adds a unique flavor to our lives.
Why am I so attached to my best friend? You are attached to your best friend because you are codependent. Codependence causes an unhealthy attachment to others.
What is a bad friend? A bad friend is someone that isn’t trying to grow. Toxic friends have pain, selfishness, and jealousy in their heart and instead of healing they use the pain to hurt, manipulate, and control you.